Sorry for the language. I should probably just apologize for this entire post now before I even write it. I told you this was ugly. Now you are going to see why.
We are going through some stuff. Some tough stuff that gets tougher by the minute. Unfortunately, this toughness technically has to do with money. It's not the cancer kind of tough. It's not the losing your job or your home kind of tough. It's actually on the very low end of the tough stuff totem pole. Unless you factor in that a death is involved. I have always struggled with what's hard for me may not be hard for the next person. What seems unbearable for me is a walk in the park for you. But, at the end of the day I believe in feeling what you feel. Even if what you feel seems like it should be minor when really it isn't.
I believed in my dad. I trusted him to a fault. I knew he was smart and made good choices. That was all before he passed away. Now I know a different man. A man who would knowingly leave his children out of his will. A man who would knowingly trust someone who didn't have his children's best interests at heart. That man is so foreign to me. The most unfortunate part is that maybe I didn't really know that man like I thought I did.
It's hard to live a regret free life. If you're doing it I would love to know your secret. I want to share a massive regret that I have. I regret that I believed he would make responsible and educated decisions for the future of his family. Most of all, I regret not making sure he was going to do just that.
It's astonishing to realize the power you might have had after you have had the chance to have it. Today I understand fully the power I have to not only do the right thing, but to leave my family feeling like I did the right thing. It's an overwhelming power that I am learning most people shove under the rug. Most people assume it will work itself out or be taken care of over time. Most people are very wrong.
I posted this status on Facebook today:
"Feeling so stupid and angry today. Please, if you do nothing else today consider speaking to your loved ones about what will happen if they pass. Know every last detail. Ask hard questions. Be informed."
After posting this I got a handful of messages asking that I be more specific. People were wanting to know how to avoid the situation I am in. I can't answer that for you. What I can tell you is what I think you should ask and know before you find yourself in the situation that I'm in.
First and foremost know this. You are someone's child. You see your parents in one way for so long that when you see them in another way it can completely change who you are. They have secrets. They have a past. They are not perfect and they have kept things from you. The sooner you know that the better equipped you will be to do the hard things like ask these questions.
As a disclaimer I should note that my parents are divorced. While I still think these questions are beyond applicable, take that part of it into consideration. That is where my experience is coming from.
My second disclaimer is that I am not a lawyer or anywhere near proficient in matters of law. Therefore, there are laws involved in a great deal of this. Just know your rights. I still have no idea what mine are.
1) Do you have a will? What kind of will exactly? Who is the executor?
2) Who is your lawyer? What is his name and phone number? And, if you change lawyers please contact me immediately and let me know the new information.
3) If you have a will or trust who are the beneficiaries? Are they outright beneficiaries or is there an ordered list where the first is primary and if something happens to them the next is primary and so on? If so, what exactly is that order and who is on the list? (This could easily be asked about anything from the actual will/trust to life insurance, retirement, etc.)
3) What is included in your will? Did you include every last thing or just the big stuff like house, car, etc.?
4) Do you have a plan for funeral arrangements? Do you want a funeral? If so, what do you want to take place? This is tough one. But, funerals are astronomically expensive. Unless you (or your family) have gobs of money laying around you should ask this one. Plus, in the event of an unexpected death you will not know up from down. At least know the basics of what the deceased would have wanted.
5) If I, your child, am not the executor or a beneficiary (I know, CRAZY of course)...how will I be able to access your will or trust when you pass? If something happens to your beneficiary (assuming it's not me) what happens then?
6) Of course, it may seem silly to list out personal possessions and say who gets what. However, when you are grieving the last thing you want to be doing is having a discussion with your sibling over who gets what because it wasn't outlined properly. If there are things that may seem of importance such as antiques, jewelry, photo albums, etc. ask what the plan is for those things. Make them decide so you don't have to. You can decide those things for your own children/family. Everyone gets a turn.
7) This is the biggest one. Make sure to ask why/how the answers to all of these questions came about. You may not agree with decisions/answers, but I believe you have a right to an understanding of them. You have a right to that closure.
8) Lastly, you must talk about debt. Debt makes things that are already ugly get way uglier. Again, unless you have a money tree in your backyard you do not want to be surprised by these things.
I think that's it for now. I'm sure now that we are headed down this road I will come up with more.
Being that my parents were divorced and my dad was remarried I feel that I must say this. You must ask these questions every couple of years. The lawyer could change. The house could be sold. The will could leave everything to a person you hardly know. Always be informed. Do not assume or you will feel like an ass.
This is my public service for the day. Oh wait. It's hump day isn't it? How ironic. Okay, my shout outs go to my lawyer friends for the support, my family for the hand holding, and my friends for understanding the mess I am destined to be on our annual trip to St. Simons this weekend.
Showing posts with label venting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label venting. Show all posts
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
POA
Sorry for the lateness on the header. It doesn't really even make sense anymore. Initially I did it on the 13th of every month because Lila's birthday is the 13th. Now it seems I just do it whenever. Technically, the ages are close enough. Not to mention, everything about this header is just awkward. Kind of makes me giggle too though.
This should be an indication of the scattered nature of my brain. Thoughts like that race in and out. It's a seemingly pointless thing to care or worry about right? But the pointless often gets mixed in with the absolutely necessary and I get all bent out of a shape about this or that not getting done. Sometimes what isn't getting done is pointless...sometimes, it's pretty necessary.
This is unfortunate. I used to be maddeningly on top of things. Before I married Seth and had kids I overdid everything. The difference is, back then I overdid five things. The married mother of two I have become is now trying to overdo five hundred things. It's isn't working.
I want my house to be clean, my kids to be clean, my clothes to be clean, and myself to be clean (sadly, in that order). And I want all of that every single day. I mean, I really would be even happier if the dog could be clean. On top of that I want the meals to be planned, the money to be in savings instead of in Target's bank account, the bills to be filed, the pictures to be in photo albums, the clothes to be sewn (by me), and the list goes on, and on, and ON. And the truth of the matter is, I don't feel like this is too much to ask. I mean, I don't work for goodness sake (please sense my eyes rolling). I should be johnny on the spot about every last detail of my house right?
Here's why I'm not. One day long, long ago in the land before children I married the man of my dreams. We lived in a neat, organized, spotless house. I did everything a homemaker would do. And I worked. Ok, so maybe I didn't cut the grass. But had I had a clue how to use a lawn mower that you stand on while it ferociously cuts your grass in 2.2 seconds I would have done that too. This worked for a little while. Said man of my dreams would tell you what I'm describing was actually a dream and not real life. Please understand I am basing my memories of those days on my current situation. Anyway, one day I started relinquishing things to Mr. Dreamy. One of those things was paying bills and handling the money. That was a big one. Something monumental changed in me that day. I turned over that job and never looked back. In fact, some would say this kind of reckless abandon was like a gateway drug. I wanted more. Instead of handing over more responsibilities I just took that as permission to let go of some of my obsessive ways.
Here we are five years later and on a daily basis I miss the old me terribly. Where's the girl that always had the checkbook balanced to the penny? Where's the girl that moved things around to find their perfect spot yet still knew where they were? I NEED HER TO SHOW UP.
Instead I'm dealing with what's left of that girl. I've lost my Ipod. I live on coffee and peanut butter because somehow in the grocery shopping for the week I always forget that I have to feed myself lunch every day too. It's not that I forget to eat. I HATE when people say that. Who forgets to eat? That's like saying I forgot to pee or I forgot to put clothes on. No one believes you if you say that BTW. I digress...
I need a plan of action. There are too many things I want to do and too many things I need to do. The overwhelming feelings that tend to push away the motivation are settling in and I have to act fast.
I made a cleaning schedule that I don't stick to. My house gets clean when I know people are coming over. If I invite you over randomly that could be my way of making sure my house gets cleaned. Just sayin'. No seriously, I just need someone to grab me by the shoulders, shake me, and whip me into shape. I need a homemaker's personal trainer. Yes! That's what I need.
To be perfectly honest, the other reason I don't get squat done is because I sit and stare at my kids all day. Really and truly. That's such a weird thing to say, but it's the truth. In thinking about posting tonight I thought about doing a videos post of Evie because I have six videos on my phone that I've taken since yesterday morning. Do you know why I didn't? Because they are boring. I wouldn't normally say that, but they really are. I just find her to be so beyond cute that every video is like I'm seeing her for the first time. Then when I go back and watch them again I realize they are just her, sitting, playing, and essentially doing nothing over and over again just in a different spot in my house.
SO, now that I have rambled to my heart's content here is my plan of action. Don't laugh. I plan to come up with a plan. I am giving myself until this time next week. Monday, February 27th at midnight to be exact. By this time next week I will post my plan to get my life in order. Slowly I will chip away at that plan until it's all done. I need order. I am craving is something fierce. Now's the time.
If you have any suggestions shout 'em out.
This should be an indication of the scattered nature of my brain. Thoughts like that race in and out. It's a seemingly pointless thing to care or worry about right? But the pointless often gets mixed in with the absolutely necessary and I get all bent out of a shape about this or that not getting done. Sometimes what isn't getting done is pointless...sometimes, it's pretty necessary.
This is unfortunate. I used to be maddeningly on top of things. Before I married Seth and had kids I overdid everything. The difference is, back then I overdid five things. The married mother of two I have become is now trying to overdo five hundred things. It's isn't working.
I want my house to be clean, my kids to be clean, my clothes to be clean, and myself to be clean (sadly, in that order). And I want all of that every single day. I mean, I really would be even happier if the dog could be clean. On top of that I want the meals to be planned, the money to be in savings instead of in Target's bank account, the bills to be filed, the pictures to be in photo albums, the clothes to be sewn (by me), and the list goes on, and on, and ON. And the truth of the matter is, I don't feel like this is too much to ask. I mean, I don't work for goodness sake (please sense my eyes rolling). I should be johnny on the spot about every last detail of my house right?
Here's why I'm not. One day long, long ago in the land before children I married the man of my dreams. We lived in a neat, organized, spotless house. I did everything a homemaker would do. And I worked. Ok, so maybe I didn't cut the grass. But had I had a clue how to use a lawn mower that you stand on while it ferociously cuts your grass in 2.2 seconds I would have done that too. This worked for a little while. Said man of my dreams would tell you what I'm describing was actually a dream and not real life. Please understand I am basing my memories of those days on my current situation. Anyway, one day I started relinquishing things to Mr. Dreamy. One of those things was paying bills and handling the money. That was a big one. Something monumental changed in me that day. I turned over that job and never looked back. In fact, some would say this kind of reckless abandon was like a gateway drug. I wanted more. Instead of handing over more responsibilities I just took that as permission to let go of some of my obsessive ways.
Here we are five years later and on a daily basis I miss the old me terribly. Where's the girl that always had the checkbook balanced to the penny? Where's the girl that moved things around to find their perfect spot yet still knew where they were? I NEED HER TO SHOW UP.
Instead I'm dealing with what's left of that girl. I've lost my Ipod. I live on coffee and peanut butter because somehow in the grocery shopping for the week I always forget that I have to feed myself lunch every day too. It's not that I forget to eat. I HATE when people say that. Who forgets to eat? That's like saying I forgot to pee or I forgot to put clothes on. No one believes you if you say that BTW. I digress...
I need a plan of action. There are too many things I want to do and too many things I need to do. The overwhelming feelings that tend to push away the motivation are settling in and I have to act fast.
I made a cleaning schedule that I don't stick to. My house gets clean when I know people are coming over. If I invite you over randomly that could be my way of making sure my house gets cleaned. Just sayin'. No seriously, I just need someone to grab me by the shoulders, shake me, and whip me into shape. I need a homemaker's personal trainer. Yes! That's what I need.
To be perfectly honest, the other reason I don't get squat done is because I sit and stare at my kids all day. Really and truly. That's such a weird thing to say, but it's the truth. In thinking about posting tonight I thought about doing a videos post of Evie because I have six videos on my phone that I've taken since yesterday morning. Do you know why I didn't? Because they are boring. I wouldn't normally say that, but they really are. I just find her to be so beyond cute that every video is like I'm seeing her for the first time. Then when I go back and watch them again I realize they are just her, sitting, playing, and essentially doing nothing over and over again just in a different spot in my house.
SO, now that I have rambled to my heart's content here is my plan of action. Don't laugh. I plan to come up with a plan. I am giving myself until this time next week. Monday, February 27th at midnight to be exact. By this time next week I will post my plan to get my life in order. Slowly I will chip away at that plan until it's all done. I need order. I am craving is something fierce. Now's the time.
If you have any suggestions shout 'em out.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Crazy Pants
I am an excellent driver. You may never again hear me say that I am excellent at something. This, however, is more a statement of fact than it is tooting my own horn (ha ha!). As someone who is part of a gender that is criticized frequently for not being so capable in this area, it's only fair I serve as the exception to the stereotype.
Due to my driving skills I am no stranger to road rage. I mean, when you are aware that you are an excellent driver you find yourself surrounded by horrible ones. Especially in this town.
My road rage is fairly private though. I stay within the confines of my car. I yell some profanities that no one but me can hear. I bang on the steering wheel but almost never the horn. It's a pretty impressive thing when you can full on have a fight with someone without them really knowing your fury. Sure they may see you flailing around as you exit the scene, but they probably don't care.
Since having kids I pretty much can't have road rage. It's similar to no longer blaring Eminem or Kanye in the car with a two year old. You just don't do it. Lila teaches me every day how to ignore the rage. It's a work in progress (as in, I am working some of it out right now due to her bedtime hysterics). But, I can feel the road rage coming on and just as quickly I toss it to the side. Done and done.
Today I experienced something new. This was something so foreign to me I was completely at a loss. Someone was enraged AT ME. The nerve! I'm driving down the road and someone (we'll call her Crazy Pants) comes flying up behind me. I am going slow because I am not too far from entering a right turn lane. Crazy Pants is not happy about this. I turn my blinker on, enter the lane, and turn. In my rear view mirror I see Crazy Pants in her beat up, POS Accord almost plow into the person that was previously in front of me as I entered the turn lane. I then see Crazy Pants passionately yank her car into the turn lane and follow me. As I notice all of this her hands (yes both) are taking turns shooting birds before she is even anywhere near me. She speeds up, flicks off my two year old without missing a beat, pulls in front of me, and slams on breaks about thirty feet from the next light that is red. Being the excellent driver I am I have anticipated this and stopped well before being anywhere near her. As I'm explaining to Lila that the lady was just pointing at a pretty bird (ha ha!) I'm also holding my hands up as if to say, "I have no idea what you're doing here!". That was my only response. Crazy Pants starts mocking me, throws some more birds, and speeds off when the light changes.
I then drive very slow. There are lots of lights close together on this road and I am now sure Crazy Pants and I need to not be anywhere near each other. She slows and speeds up in a taunting way. What she doesn't know is that she has nothing on my two year old. Lila has taught me well. Taunting mommy is her thang. I am trying to believe that she's getting it all out of her system so that when she's a teenager we will have a blissful coexistence. Regardless, I am prepared for Crazy Pants. Not to mention, I'm not crazy. At least I feel fairly sane today. Really, I wish I had taken a picture of her hot mess of an appearance. But that would take away from my excellent driving skills if I were to use my phone in such a way while driving. She kind of had that Cruella Deville thing going on in much the same laughable way.
So, thank you Lila. You test me in ways I never could have imagined. You wear me out, but I love you anyway ;-) Besides, at the end of the day what good is being tested if you don't get to use what you've learned?
Happy Valentine's day readers! I hope your day was filled with slobbery, open mouthed baby kisses, hugs that make you fall over, and time spent with an adorable somebody special like mine was. Well, aside from the interference of Crazy Pants of course.
Due to my driving skills I am no stranger to road rage. I mean, when you are aware that you are an excellent driver you find yourself surrounded by horrible ones. Especially in this town.
My road rage is fairly private though. I stay within the confines of my car. I yell some profanities that no one but me can hear. I bang on the steering wheel but almost never the horn. It's a pretty impressive thing when you can full on have a fight with someone without them really knowing your fury. Sure they may see you flailing around as you exit the scene, but they probably don't care.
Since having kids I pretty much can't have road rage. It's similar to no longer blaring Eminem or Kanye in the car with a two year old. You just don't do it. Lila teaches me every day how to ignore the rage. It's a work in progress (as in, I am working some of it out right now due to her bedtime hysterics). But, I can feel the road rage coming on and just as quickly I toss it to the side. Done and done.
Today I experienced something new. This was something so foreign to me I was completely at a loss. Someone was enraged AT ME. The nerve! I'm driving down the road and someone (we'll call her Crazy Pants) comes flying up behind me. I am going slow because I am not too far from entering a right turn lane. Crazy Pants is not happy about this. I turn my blinker on, enter the lane, and turn. In my rear view mirror I see Crazy Pants in her beat up, POS Accord almost plow into the person that was previously in front of me as I entered the turn lane. I then see Crazy Pants passionately yank her car into the turn lane and follow me. As I notice all of this her hands (yes both) are taking turns shooting birds before she is even anywhere near me. She speeds up, flicks off my two year old without missing a beat, pulls in front of me, and slams on breaks about thirty feet from the next light that is red. Being the excellent driver I am I have anticipated this and stopped well before being anywhere near her. As I'm explaining to Lila that the lady was just pointing at a pretty bird (ha ha!) I'm also holding my hands up as if to say, "I have no idea what you're doing here!". That was my only response. Crazy Pants starts mocking me, throws some more birds, and speeds off when the light changes.
I then drive very slow. There are lots of lights close together on this road and I am now sure Crazy Pants and I need to not be anywhere near each other. She slows and speeds up in a taunting way. What she doesn't know is that she has nothing on my two year old. Lila has taught me well. Taunting mommy is her thang. I am trying to believe that she's getting it all out of her system so that when she's a teenager we will have a blissful coexistence. Regardless, I am prepared for Crazy Pants. Not to mention, I'm not crazy. At least I feel fairly sane today. Really, I wish I had taken a picture of her hot mess of an appearance. But that would take away from my excellent driving skills if I were to use my phone in such a way while driving. She kind of had that Cruella Deville thing going on in much the same laughable way.
So, thank you Lila. You test me in ways I never could have imagined. You wear me out, but I love you anyway ;-) Besides, at the end of the day what good is being tested if you don't get to use what you've learned?
Happy Valentine's day readers! I hope your day was filled with slobbery, open mouthed baby kisses, hugs that make you fall over, and time spent with an adorable somebody special like mine was. Well, aside from the interference of Crazy Pants of course.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
get it together
Yesterday was a bad day. Like, a really, really bad day. Seth went out of town for the week the day we decided swaddling Evie is no longer an option. Needless to say, Tuesday night involved very little sleeping for the three Burrow ladies. Lila is a child whose temperament depends on sleep. If she gets none the next day is horrendous. But these days if she gets enough the "terrible twos" seem to be slipping away. Yesterday was the worst day we have in a long time.
Carson and Lila are also going through some very opposite changes which makes my job as constant referee a little harder. Carson is entering the combative two year old world where her need for control and independence are growing. Lila is entering the stage of less parallel play and more PLAY WITH ME NOW with other kids. So here's how that looks:
L: Carson let's dance!
C: NO!
L: Carson PLEASE let's dance!
C: No thank you.
L: (entering meltdown mode and in Carson's face) Carson dance now!!!!!
C: NOOOOOO! (shoves Lila)
L: (screaming and crying like someone just shredded her blanket) Mommy Carson won't dance!!!!
.....I diffuse Lila's hysteria....Lila calms down....
C: Lila dance?
L: Ok!
.....and off they go into a blissful thirty minute running around dance fest that ends in a similar situation mentioned above about the use of a stroller, doll, magnet, or any other item in my house.
This all becomes magnified by the fact that they both can't sleep due to the snot and coughing extravaganza that has now become everyday life for them.
Most days I can diffuse most things and the times of chaos are few and far between. Yesterday just wasn't one of those days. And because Evie thinks that sleeping is something other people's kids do she starts screaming and crying just to fit in. Or because she's EXHAUSTED.
After Carson left yesterday Evie finally took a nap and Lila and I had a video chat with Sara. This part of the day was nice. Then Evie slept a little longer so Lila and I perused the Super Readers website. If you don't know, Super Readers is a fantastic little cartoon that Lila is obsessed with. She actually thought her Wonder Woman Halloween costume made her a Super Reader. Anyway, we did that for a while and then Evie woke up around dinnertime. We have no food and I desperately needed to get out of the house. I decided we would go drive through somewhere. Lila decided she hates me because I turned off the computer and put her in the car. She hasn't had an all out screaming-so-much-in-the-car-meltdown-mommy-wants-to-run-into-oncoming-traffic kind of episode in a really long time. I had actually forgotten how miserable those can be. I'm not proud, but I had had enough. So I screamed back. I'm not a screaming parent. But she was getting Evie riled up too and I just couldn't do it. After I screamed Lila went silent. After we drove through to get food and I gave her lemonade it was like the whole thing never happened. Don't you just love that about toddlers?
Needless to say, last night ended the day with a bang. Evie went to sleep just long enough for me to read and sing to Lila only to wake up and take over an hour for me to get her back to sleep. So both children were asleep somewhere around 10:30.
I'm not telling you all of this so you feel sorry for me. I'm not telling you all of this to be your birth control if you don't have kids. I'm telling you all of this to now tell you something else....
I was in the car taking Lila to school this morning and Evie fell asleep as she usually does. So I drove around to hopefully get a good nap in for her. While doing so I started listening to Dave FM and they are at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta doing a fundraiser. It seems that CHOA is in desperate need of funds. Anyway, they are calling it the Big Show for Little Voices I believe. They have families talking about how much CHOA means to them and why. I am listening to the stories of children who spent the first two years of their lives in the hospital. I am listening to moms who have bad days every day because they spend their lives watching their child suffer. And of course, I'm crying. I'm crying because I have two amazingly healthy and happy kids. I am crying because my bad day overwhelmed me to no end when it's one bad day among hundreds of good ones. I'm crying because I need to cut myself some slack. A two year olds everyday tantrum (or ten) is probably something one of those moms at CHOA would welcome with a big smile.
I know I'm allowed to be upset by our bad day. But God just wanted to make sure I knew how lucky I am to have that kind of a bad day. So God, if you're listening, I heard you loud and clear.
Carson and Lila are also going through some very opposite changes which makes my job as constant referee a little harder. Carson is entering the combative two year old world where her need for control and independence are growing. Lila is entering the stage of less parallel play and more PLAY WITH ME NOW with other kids. So here's how that looks:
L: Carson let's dance!
C: NO!
L: Carson PLEASE let's dance!
C: No thank you.
L: (entering meltdown mode and in Carson's face) Carson dance now!!!!!
C: NOOOOOO! (shoves Lila)
L: (screaming and crying like someone just shredded her blanket) Mommy Carson won't dance!!!!
.....I diffuse Lila's hysteria....Lila calms down....
C: Lila dance?
L: Ok!
.....and off they go into a blissful thirty minute running around dance fest that ends in a similar situation mentioned above about the use of a stroller, doll, magnet, or any other item in my house.
This all becomes magnified by the fact that they both can't sleep due to the snot and coughing extravaganza that has now become everyday life for them.
Most days I can diffuse most things and the times of chaos are few and far between. Yesterday just wasn't one of those days. And because Evie thinks that sleeping is something other people's kids do she starts screaming and crying just to fit in. Or because she's EXHAUSTED.
After Carson left yesterday Evie finally took a nap and Lila and I had a video chat with Sara. This part of the day was nice. Then Evie slept a little longer so Lila and I perused the Super Readers website. If you don't know, Super Readers is a fantastic little cartoon that Lila is obsessed with. She actually thought her Wonder Woman Halloween costume made her a Super Reader. Anyway, we did that for a while and then Evie woke up around dinnertime. We have no food and I desperately needed to get out of the house. I decided we would go drive through somewhere. Lila decided she hates me because I turned off the computer and put her in the car. She hasn't had an all out screaming-so-much-in-the-car-meltdown-mommy-wants-to-run-into-oncoming-traffic kind of episode in a really long time. I had actually forgotten how miserable those can be. I'm not proud, but I had had enough. So I screamed back. I'm not a screaming parent. But she was getting Evie riled up too and I just couldn't do it. After I screamed Lila went silent. After we drove through to get food and I gave her lemonade it was like the whole thing never happened. Don't you just love that about toddlers?
Needless to say, last night ended the day with a bang. Evie went to sleep just long enough for me to read and sing to Lila only to wake up and take over an hour for me to get her back to sleep. So both children were asleep somewhere around 10:30.
I'm not telling you all of this so you feel sorry for me. I'm not telling you all of this to be your birth control if you don't have kids. I'm telling you all of this to now tell you something else....
I was in the car taking Lila to school this morning and Evie fell asleep as she usually does. So I drove around to hopefully get a good nap in for her. While doing so I started listening to Dave FM and they are at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta doing a fundraiser. It seems that CHOA is in desperate need of funds. Anyway, they are calling it the Big Show for Little Voices I believe. They have families talking about how much CHOA means to them and why. I am listening to the stories of children who spent the first two years of their lives in the hospital. I am listening to moms who have bad days every day because they spend their lives watching their child suffer. And of course, I'm crying. I'm crying because I have two amazingly healthy and happy kids. I am crying because my bad day overwhelmed me to no end when it's one bad day among hundreds of good ones. I'm crying because I need to cut myself some slack. A two year olds everyday tantrum (or ten) is probably something one of those moms at CHOA would welcome with a big smile.
I know I'm allowed to be upset by our bad day. But God just wanted to make sure I knew how lucky I am to have that kind of a bad day. So God, if you're listening, I heard you loud and clear.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Bloopers
The new header is gigantic. But, I'm very tired and don't feel like fixing it. So for the next month you will just have to see my beautiful babies up close and personal.
This week has been the biggest roller coaster of a week I have ever had. Monday was probably the worst day I've had since having kids. And today feels a little like I fought the mommyhood and the mommy (I) won. What made Monday so bad? I will tell you.
Do you ever have those days where really and truly everything goes wrong? I'm not talking life shattering things. I'm talking little things that eat away at your day until so many of them have happened that you want to scream at the universe because it must be out to get you? Here's the short list:
* Evie screamed. All day. When I say all day I mean every single second. Except for when we were at Lila's swim lesson. But Lila screamed through that.
* Lila decided the swim lessons are not for her. I usually change her into her swim attire when we get there. It only consists of reusable swim diapers and tennis shoes (to help her kick more). She had the most massive of meltdowns. This was more due to the lack of sleep she had been getting than the lessons because she suddenly also decided the big girl bed wasn't for her. Her meltdown got to the point where she plopped down completely naked onto the nasty floor surrounding the pool (which is indoor at a hotel no less).
* I gave up dairy only to realize Seth had been randomly giving Evie a bottle of frozen, pumped milk from before giving up dairy. When am I going to get this right?
* I fell off of a chair. I have a really pretty bruise on my knee, a somewhat twisted ankle, some random other bruises, and the intense feeling that Lila may drop the F bomb any day now.
* Seth had just left to go out of town. For a week. And it was only Monday.
Again, Monday could have been much more horrendous I'm sure. But you know the kind of day I'm talking about. The things mentioned above are the majors. The minors are too numerous to name and are now long forgotten anyway.
Today, however, made Monday seem like a distant memory. The not eating dairy (consistently without screwing up) seems to be making a difference. Evie has been a completely different kid the past 48 hours. She loves to smile, but now I see it almost all day instead of just in between sheer terror and pain. She is sleeping all night and attempting to nap longer.
Lila is coming to terms with her room having a gate up at nap and bed time. She did fall asleep (twice) laying on the floor next to the gate. I am convinced that was only because Sara was babysitting. She hasn't done that with me. Sara is WAY cooler than me. Sara and two of my cousins were here last night and she actually said "I want to come out too" like she was missing out on a big party. Seriously broke my heart. But then tonight she didn't seem too bothered. Mommy is just old news I suppose. I'll take what I can get though. Both girls were asleep by 8:30....and are still sleeping. Glorious.
Anyway, here are what I see as blooper pictures to go along with my blooper of a week.
This week has been the biggest roller coaster of a week I have ever had. Monday was probably the worst day I've had since having kids. And today feels a little like I fought the mommyhood and the mommy (I) won. What made Monday so bad? I will tell you.
Do you ever have those days where really and truly everything goes wrong? I'm not talking life shattering things. I'm talking little things that eat away at your day until so many of them have happened that you want to scream at the universe because it must be out to get you? Here's the short list:
* Evie screamed. All day. When I say all day I mean every single second. Except for when we were at Lila's swim lesson. But Lila screamed through that.
* Lila decided the swim lessons are not for her. I usually change her into her swim attire when we get there. It only consists of reusable swim diapers and tennis shoes (to help her kick more). She had the most massive of meltdowns. This was more due to the lack of sleep she had been getting than the lessons because she suddenly also decided the big girl bed wasn't for her. Her meltdown got to the point where she plopped down completely naked onto the nasty floor surrounding the pool (which is indoor at a hotel no less).
* I gave up dairy only to realize Seth had been randomly giving Evie a bottle of frozen, pumped milk from before giving up dairy. When am I going to get this right?
* I fell off of a chair. I have a really pretty bruise on my knee, a somewhat twisted ankle, some random other bruises, and the intense feeling that Lila may drop the F bomb any day now.
* Seth had just left to go out of town. For a week. And it was only Monday.
Again, Monday could have been much more horrendous I'm sure. But you know the kind of day I'm talking about. The things mentioned above are the majors. The minors are too numerous to name and are now long forgotten anyway.
Today, however, made Monday seem like a distant memory. The not eating dairy (consistently without screwing up) seems to be making a difference. Evie has been a completely different kid the past 48 hours. She loves to smile, but now I see it almost all day instead of just in between sheer terror and pain. She is sleeping all night and attempting to nap longer.
Lila is coming to terms with her room having a gate up at nap and bed time. She did fall asleep (twice) laying on the floor next to the gate. I am convinced that was only because Sara was babysitting. She hasn't done that with me. Sara is WAY cooler than me. Sara and two of my cousins were here last night and she actually said "I want to come out too" like she was missing out on a big party. Seriously broke my heart. But then tonight she didn't seem too bothered. Mommy is just old news I suppose. I'll take what I can get though. Both girls were asleep by 8:30....and are still sleeping. Glorious.
Anyway, here are what I see as blooper pictures to go along with my blooper of a week.
It seems the dress wasn't good enough as is. She thought it needed a belt. Belts are meant to hold things up right?
This picture cracks me up. All I can think of to say is my daughter rocks the disheveled look.
During our photo shoot Lila decided her "Baby Evie" needed to be in the picture too. And this is how she thought the baby should be posed.
Not sure what we're looking for here.
I like to call this the deer in headlights look.
Happy Friday ya'll!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Mommy guilt overfloweth
Mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my mama said...
What a day yesterday was. I suppose you could say it was just a long day in general. Evie is struggling with reflux and general discomfort with eating that makes her pretty fussy when she's awake. Lila is adjusting to Evie like a champ. But, she also wants to play and be all over the place like any two year old. I'm working on balancing! Seth gives 200% to everything...he works late at his job, he goes to clean for me, and he gets no sleep right along with the rest of us. You could say we are both a little tapped out.
Last night Lila took a tumble in the bath tub and her forehead made an unfortunate connection with the hot water knob. Ironically, the actual tub faucet has a cute whale covering it to avoid such accidents. She and I both realized there was blood streaming down her face and there was a bit of a panic moment. She kept saying "what is it?!?" and I kept telling her it was okay. She calmed down pretty quickly, but head injuries are no joke. I called Seth and he headed home from work immediately. Evie was moments away from witching hour pandemonium.
Seth came home and was feeling pretty strongly that she would need stitches. I had been on and off the phone with a nurse at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta and we just weren't sure. Seth took Lila over to Meg's house (my great friend Meg is a PA as well as our fill in pediatrician) to see if he should then head to the ER. I tried to see if my mom or sister could come over (Seth's mom is out of town) but had no luck. Taking Evie to the ER was just not an option for us. Meg wasn't totally sure about stitches either so Seth and I decided they just needed to go.
Here is where the guilt floodgates opened. I already felt bad the whole thing even happened. And now they were going to the ER without me. My baby was going to a scary place to have something scary done to her and I wasn't even going to be there. In no way do I think Seth isn't capable. I am fully aware that she won't remember or really be concerned with the fact that I wasn't there. But I am her mom. That is where I was supposed to be.
A few hours, three stitches, lots of baby/mommy crying, and a loopy little girl later Seth and I were putting her to bed. This too shall pass. I will get over it...it appears she already has ;-)
What a day yesterday was. I suppose you could say it was just a long day in general. Evie is struggling with reflux and general discomfort with eating that makes her pretty fussy when she's awake. Lila is adjusting to Evie like a champ. But, she also wants to play and be all over the place like any two year old. I'm working on balancing! Seth gives 200% to everything...he works late at his job, he goes to clean for me, and he gets no sleep right along with the rest of us. You could say we are both a little tapped out.
Last night Lila took a tumble in the bath tub and her forehead made an unfortunate connection with the hot water knob. Ironically, the actual tub faucet has a cute whale covering it to avoid such accidents. She and I both realized there was blood streaming down her face and there was a bit of a panic moment. She kept saying "what is it?!?" and I kept telling her it was okay. She calmed down pretty quickly, but head injuries are no joke. I called Seth and he headed home from work immediately. Evie was moments away from witching hour pandemonium.
Seth came home and was feeling pretty strongly that she would need stitches. I had been on and off the phone with a nurse at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta and we just weren't sure. Seth took Lila over to Meg's house (my great friend Meg is a PA as well as our fill in pediatrician) to see if he should then head to the ER. I tried to see if my mom or sister could come over (Seth's mom is out of town) but had no luck. Taking Evie to the ER was just not an option for us. Meg wasn't totally sure about stitches either so Seth and I decided they just needed to go.
Here is where the guilt floodgates opened. I already felt bad the whole thing even happened. And now they were going to the ER without me. My baby was going to a scary place to have something scary done to her and I wasn't even going to be there. In no way do I think Seth isn't capable. I am fully aware that she won't remember or really be concerned with the fact that I wasn't there. But I am her mom. That is where I was supposed to be.
A few hours, three stitches, lots of baby/mommy crying, and a loopy little girl later Seth and I were putting her to bed. This too shall pass. I will get over it...it appears she already has ;-)
She loves the purple band-aid on her face and refuses to take off the hospital bracelets.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Had enough
I've always said I want to be candid about motherhood here. I'm sure I'm more candid than I should be, but today may take the cake.
I bought this book on Amazon to read on my Kindle app for the Ipad. It's called Emotional Muscle. I read a glowing review of it here:
http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/116582/antitiger_mom_advice_for_the
Basically, I wanted strategies and ideas about how to handle the times where you have no idea what to do, and you are at your rope's end. I don't mean this is the first time this or other situations like this have happened in a day...it's more like the fifth or sixth. I have only read a few chapters of the book. So far I am not impressed. Maybe I just need to keep reading. I will keep you posted.
I feel a disclaimer may or may not be needed here. I often wonder if I would feel this exhausted, frustrated, and overwhelmed by this "phase" if I wasn't pregnant. Part of me thinks the difficulty would still be just as unnerving. Another part of me thinks I would have a clearer head and a more capable approach. A third part of me thinks....wait, in a few months this will all be happening with a newborn in the background. I mean, Carson is here today. But Carson is at that super, fantastic, just-turned-one stage where she just watches and listens to everything with awe and/or concern. She watches Lila lose her mind like she's some wild animal at the zoo.
Today has been particularly difficult. I look at those big, blue eyes and that shiny, blonde hair and I try so hard to see the little girl and her feelings. Instead I see the screaming, kicking, red faced tantrum in all it's glory. I have said this before, but when I was a teacher there was one phrase that ran through my head many times a day..."don't let the inner voice out". Someone in my master's program said that to me once and it stuck. I have tried to apply that to parenting too. Don't let them see you lose your cool...don't let them know that you are about to break and scream too....don't act exactly the way you would prefer to be acting.
Here's what I really want to say. This is my child in my house. I am gigantic, not feeling good, and she is pushing it too far today. I am going to cry and I am going to walk away and hope that it just ends. I am going to scoop Carson up and whisper in her ear that Lila should not be her example. I'm going to tell her to sail right past 18-24 months without batting an eye. If I can subliminally spare Katie the daily dose of good old fashioned drama that is taking over my life right now shouldn't I at least try?
I don't like posting these kinds of things. I feel like I am ratting out my own kid and talking badly about her. This too shall pass (please God). It's just another day. She is still an immeasurable source of happiness and joy in my life. Today, I just need her to GET OVER IT.
There. I said it.
I bought this book on Amazon to read on my Kindle app for the Ipad. It's called Emotional Muscle. I read a glowing review of it here:
http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/116582/antitiger_mom_advice_for_the
Basically, I wanted strategies and ideas about how to handle the times where you have no idea what to do, and you are at your rope's end. I don't mean this is the first time this or other situations like this have happened in a day...it's more like the fifth or sixth. I have only read a few chapters of the book. So far I am not impressed. Maybe I just need to keep reading. I will keep you posted.
I feel a disclaimer may or may not be needed here. I often wonder if I would feel this exhausted, frustrated, and overwhelmed by this "phase" if I wasn't pregnant. Part of me thinks the difficulty would still be just as unnerving. Another part of me thinks I would have a clearer head and a more capable approach. A third part of me thinks....wait, in a few months this will all be happening with a newborn in the background. I mean, Carson is here today. But Carson is at that super, fantastic, just-turned-one stage where she just watches and listens to everything with awe and/or concern. She watches Lila lose her mind like she's some wild animal at the zoo.
Today has been particularly difficult. I look at those big, blue eyes and that shiny, blonde hair and I try so hard to see the little girl and her feelings. Instead I see the screaming, kicking, red faced tantrum in all it's glory. I have said this before, but when I was a teacher there was one phrase that ran through my head many times a day..."don't let the inner voice out". Someone in my master's program said that to me once and it stuck. I have tried to apply that to parenting too. Don't let them see you lose your cool...don't let them know that you are about to break and scream too....don't act exactly the way you would prefer to be acting.
Here's what I really want to say. This is my child in my house. I am gigantic, not feeling good, and she is pushing it too far today. I am going to cry and I am going to walk away and hope that it just ends. I am going to scoop Carson up and whisper in her ear that Lila should not be her example. I'm going to tell her to sail right past 18-24 months without batting an eye. If I can subliminally spare Katie the daily dose of good old fashioned drama that is taking over my life right now shouldn't I at least try?
I don't like posting these kinds of things. I feel like I am ratting out my own kid and talking badly about her. This too shall pass (please God). It's just another day. She is still an immeasurable source of happiness and joy in my life. Today, I just need her to GET OVER IT.
There. I said it.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Holla Hump Day
I am using this holla hump day to discuss our recent adventure to Florida.
I want to thank God, the universe, the alignment of the stars, yadda yadda. Whatever you want to call it, I want to thank it. I did not purchase a plane ticket for Lila for this trip simply because I didn't have to. Well, that and they are expensive. She turns two in May. This will almost 100% be the last time she is on an airplane before she turns two and they require her to have a ticket. That being said, on the way to and from West Palm Beach we ended up with a seat for her anyway and she did not have to sit in Sara's lap.
Changing gears a little bit, this post is going to involve some of my ramblings about motherhood as well. Shocker, I know. Anyway, it's not necessary to say this, but I love my child with everything that I am. However, on this trip she tested me beyond what I am usually capable of letting go of. If you have children older than two I'm guessing you know what I'm talking about. If you have a child (or children) under the age of two I want you to know that when the day comes where you experience this you can call me. And you can cry to me. And you can scream too if you want.
You see, everyone has a breaking point. The problem is, the breaking point that you feel when your sweet, perfect, adorable angel has put you there is completely different. I realize I am pregnant and that may have factored in. I kind of don't think so though. I have been overwhelmed before. I have been stressed and scared and feeling guilty all due to this job of being a parent. But there is usually a clear line for me where I can work my way through it without becoming a mess of tears and frustration. The past couple of weeks that seems to be getting harder to do. I have tried to come up with ways to handle myself and handle my soon to be two year old. Nothing major happened in Florida that hasn't happened at home...other than the clear line becoming blurry for me and the collapse into swirling emotions took over.
The weather was perfect. My dad and his wife Liz did so much to make sure we had a good time. I'm not sure if Lila just got restless or if she was simply acting her age. It doesn't matter really. The fact of the matter is, she had a few massive meltdowns that sent me over the edge. Yesterday she woke up very early, didn't nap for very long, and when she woke up from the nap she was inconsolable. Then I started crying and I just kind of froze up. I didn't want to be anywhere near her and I'm sure that was making it worse. I wanted to lay down and ignore the whole thing. Thank you dad and Sara for whisking her away for a walk so that I could lay down and get myself together. Thank you for not judging me and for loving me (and Lila) as much as you do. Most of all, thank you for understanding.
Again, if you find yourself not sure of how to come back to life in an episode that may be similar give me a shout. I will whisk away your child or sit on the phone with you and I won't judge you.
Lastly, the biggest shout out goes to Sara. The day after we got there she got sick and generally felt crappy. She still found ways to make me feel better and help me out. One day I hope I can repay her for everything she does for us and for all the love she gives. It is simply immeasurable.
Sorry for the heaviness of this post. We did have such a great time lounging in the sun and eating constantly! I'm just not the type to avoid being candid. What good does it do anyone to pretend that these things don't happen right? Pictures are coming soon in the new header...have a good rest of the week ;-)
I want to thank God, the universe, the alignment of the stars, yadda yadda. Whatever you want to call it, I want to thank it. I did not purchase a plane ticket for Lila for this trip simply because I didn't have to. Well, that and they are expensive. She turns two in May. This will almost 100% be the last time she is on an airplane before she turns two and they require her to have a ticket. That being said, on the way to and from West Palm Beach we ended up with a seat for her anyway and she did not have to sit in Sara's lap.
Changing gears a little bit, this post is going to involve some of my ramblings about motherhood as well. Shocker, I know. Anyway, it's not necessary to say this, but I love my child with everything that I am. However, on this trip she tested me beyond what I am usually capable of letting go of. If you have children older than two I'm guessing you know what I'm talking about. If you have a child (or children) under the age of two I want you to know that when the day comes where you experience this you can call me. And you can cry to me. And you can scream too if you want.
You see, everyone has a breaking point. The problem is, the breaking point that you feel when your sweet, perfect, adorable angel has put you there is completely different. I realize I am pregnant and that may have factored in. I kind of don't think so though. I have been overwhelmed before. I have been stressed and scared and feeling guilty all due to this job of being a parent. But there is usually a clear line for me where I can work my way through it without becoming a mess of tears and frustration. The past couple of weeks that seems to be getting harder to do. I have tried to come up with ways to handle myself and handle my soon to be two year old. Nothing major happened in Florida that hasn't happened at home...other than the clear line becoming blurry for me and the collapse into swirling emotions took over.
The weather was perfect. My dad and his wife Liz did so much to make sure we had a good time. I'm not sure if Lila just got restless or if she was simply acting her age. It doesn't matter really. The fact of the matter is, she had a few massive meltdowns that sent me over the edge. Yesterday she woke up very early, didn't nap for very long, and when she woke up from the nap she was inconsolable. Then I started crying and I just kind of froze up. I didn't want to be anywhere near her and I'm sure that was making it worse. I wanted to lay down and ignore the whole thing. Thank you dad and Sara for whisking her away for a walk so that I could lay down and get myself together. Thank you for not judging me and for loving me (and Lila) as much as you do. Most of all, thank you for understanding.
Again, if you find yourself not sure of how to come back to life in an episode that may be similar give me a shout. I will whisk away your child or sit on the phone with you and I won't judge you.
Lastly, the biggest shout out goes to Sara. The day after we got there she got sick and generally felt crappy. She still found ways to make me feel better and help me out. One day I hope I can repay her for everything she does for us and for all the love she gives. It is simply immeasurable.
Sorry for the heaviness of this post. We did have such a great time lounging in the sun and eating constantly! I'm just not the type to avoid being candid. What good does it do anyone to pretend that these things don't happen right? Pictures are coming soon in the new header...have a good rest of the week ;-)
Monday, January 24, 2011
Only 6 months?
*Disclaimer - there will be an immense amount of whining in this post.
I am fairly sure that my doctor and everyone that works with her lied to me. I am now under the belief that this baby is coming in a month instead of three. Someone screwed up miserably when calculating my due date.
My hot mess of a toddler can point at my belly and say baby, but her patience with me stops there. She doesn't seem at all concerned that I pretty much feel like someone swiped my lower back with a two by four. She also doesn't care that I am sleepy all day but can't seem to go to sleep at night. I am almost certain she is a hot mess these days because I just can't keep up!
All of that aside, I feel right this minute like I remember feeling a few weeks out during pregnancy round one. How on earth am I going to feel when I am actually a few weeks out? I even apologized to Seth for my appearance (or lack of an attempt at a decent appearance) and my whining. He's a good sport, but I am starting to get sick of myself.
Add on the fact that I am finding loose Tums in my purse along with the stray Cheerios and you could say I am a hotter mess than my kid.
Once a day I tell myself that I will miss this when the baby is here. I really missed being pregnant not long after Lila was born. I do take moments to stop and marvel at the fantastic job my body is doing making this baby. My mind just needed me to vent to even the score. I do not want the baby to come in a month. That's just crazy talk. Of course I want it to be plump and completely ready to enter the world! I just can't stop thinking that come month 8 or so I may topple over and not be able to get up.
I am fairly sure that my doctor and everyone that works with her lied to me. I am now under the belief that this baby is coming in a month instead of three. Someone screwed up miserably when calculating my due date.
My hot mess of a toddler can point at my belly and say baby, but her patience with me stops there. She doesn't seem at all concerned that I pretty much feel like someone swiped my lower back with a two by four. She also doesn't care that I am sleepy all day but can't seem to go to sleep at night. I am almost certain she is a hot mess these days because I just can't keep up!
All of that aside, I feel right this minute like I remember feeling a few weeks out during pregnancy round one. How on earth am I going to feel when I am actually a few weeks out? I even apologized to Seth for my appearance (or lack of an attempt at a decent appearance) and my whining. He's a good sport, but I am starting to get sick of myself.
Add on the fact that I am finding loose Tums in my purse along with the stray Cheerios and you could say I am a hotter mess than my kid.
Once a day I tell myself that I will miss this when the baby is here. I really missed being pregnant not long after Lila was born. I do take moments to stop and marvel at the fantastic job my body is doing making this baby. My mind just needed me to vent to even the score. I do not want the baby to come in a month. That's just crazy talk. Of course I want it to be plump and completely ready to enter the world! I just can't stop thinking that come month 8 or so I may topple over and not be able to get up.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
My day
You know how I wrote that post a few weeks ago about the glorious day I had? Apparently, the universe decided I needed a little humbling. I mean, I realize we had a snow WEEK and all, but Lila completely forgot how to be around Carson.
Let's back up. Yesterday was the start of what I'm assuming is pregnancy symptom number 843...heat rash. Yes, I have a heat rash after a week of being iced in my house. I had my glucose test today and the midwife said it's very normal and yadda yadda. It looks very similar to the heat rash I tend to get in the summer after being in the sun too long. Only this time I am gigantic, not in a bathing suit (THANK GOD), and not enjoying the actual benefits of summer. No, this time I am in my house with a toddler that hates everyone today and another one that is probably thinking her parents are abusing her by making her hang out with the crazy one.
I should say I feel very lucky and fortunate to have a pretty mild tempered and easy going kid. I think that's why days like today hit me so hard. When she starts acting her age by throwing fits and going crazy over nothing I feel like a deer in headlights. Seth came home while I went to my appointment and I felt it only fair to tell him that our child was not our child today. If you can imagine, he looked really excited to be staying for the lunch portion of the day.
So I go to the doctor all whiny and itchy, get my blood drawn, and come home. Seth said the girls wanted nothing to do with him. They just played and he said he was just quietly hanging out. Hmmm...maybe Lila is just out to get me. But, now they are napping and I am still itching (hydrocortisone only works for so long).
Since I am halfway through two books right now anyway I'm thinking I will throw in another one on how to teach an almost two year old how to share...any suggestions?
Let's back up. Yesterday was the start of what I'm assuming is pregnancy symptom number 843...heat rash. Yes, I have a heat rash after a week of being iced in my house. I had my glucose test today and the midwife said it's very normal and yadda yadda. It looks very similar to the heat rash I tend to get in the summer after being in the sun too long. Only this time I am gigantic, not in a bathing suit (THANK GOD), and not enjoying the actual benefits of summer. No, this time I am in my house with a toddler that hates everyone today and another one that is probably thinking her parents are abusing her by making her hang out with the crazy one.
I should say I feel very lucky and fortunate to have a pretty mild tempered and easy going kid. I think that's why days like today hit me so hard. When she starts acting her age by throwing fits and going crazy over nothing I feel like a deer in headlights. Seth came home while I went to my appointment and I felt it only fair to tell him that our child was not our child today. If you can imagine, he looked really excited to be staying for the lunch portion of the day.
So I go to the doctor all whiny and itchy, get my blood drawn, and come home. Seth said the girls wanted nothing to do with him. They just played and he said he was just quietly hanging out. Hmmm...maybe Lila is just out to get me. But, now they are napping and I am still itching (hydrocortisone only works for so long).
Since I am halfway through two books right now anyway I'm thinking I will throw in another one on how to teach an almost two year old how to share...any suggestions?
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Pearl necklaces, shopping carts, and the world of a self proclaimed ya ya
This post would be way cooler had I taken pictures. I would be way cooler if I didn't want to barf all the time. Such is life.
Lila got another cold but handled it much better this weekend than she did last weekend. However, we felt like we still needed to stay around home for the weekend so she could once and for all get better. Thank goodness we have friends that like to invite themselves over to our house or we would have no life a lot of the time. But let's start at the beginning.
Friday was the first day of the second round of snotfest. We tried to go out to dinner, but Lila wasn't so happy about that. Our fridge is kind of bare due to my serious lack of interest in food. We made it through dinner, came home, and went to bed. Are you trying to live vicariously through us yet?
Saturday mornings for a long time have involved a family trip to Chick-Fil-A. I have made a massive effort to go organic and really be conscious of what I am putting in my body. But, Chick-Fil-A is one of those things I haven't been able to give up...that is until my recent, turbulent relationship with food. We still went, but I think I am going to have to just pass from now on. For the past couple of weeks I have been a yard sale maniac after Chick-Fil-A. This weekend I made some good finds. Lila has taken a major interest in play jewelry and you can almost always find that at yard sales. I also purchased a mini grocery shopping cart and a fantastic rug for $2! Needless to say, Lila spent most of the day on Saturday ramming the shopping cart into walls and furniture while sporting a "pearl" necklace and lots of snot.
Saturday night we had a cookout with said friends that like to invite themselves over. It was FANTASTIC. Seriously, there is nothing better than being able to stay at your own house and put your child to bed and hang out with your friends. We are so lucky to have the kind of close friends that will invite themselves over because they know it's helpful for us! We grilled, we talked, and we made smores over a fire pit. It was a perfect fall night.
At some point over the weekend (can't remember when) Lila saw a big picture of herself on Seth's laptop and she started pointing and say "ya ya, ya ya, ya ya". It was the cutest thing EVER. It has happened a few more times over the weekend and I just love to watch her morph into a kid...I'm trying not to get upset that she is slowly becoming less and less of a baby.
So that was our weekend. In case you didn't pick up on it, I am not feeling so hot. If I am being honest, I wrote an entire post about it and then deleted it. I am trying SO hard not to whine and whine and whine about this even though I have felt this way for three months straight. I can't promise you won't hear about it again, but I am making an effort to keep it to a minimum.
Happy Monday ya'll!
Lila got another cold but handled it much better this weekend than she did last weekend. However, we felt like we still needed to stay around home for the weekend so she could once and for all get better. Thank goodness we have friends that like to invite themselves over to our house or we would have no life a lot of the time. But let's start at the beginning.
Friday was the first day of the second round of snotfest. We tried to go out to dinner, but Lila wasn't so happy about that. Our fridge is kind of bare due to my serious lack of interest in food. We made it through dinner, came home, and went to bed. Are you trying to live vicariously through us yet?
Saturday mornings for a long time have involved a family trip to Chick-Fil-A. I have made a massive effort to go organic and really be conscious of what I am putting in my body. But, Chick-Fil-A is one of those things I haven't been able to give up...that is until my recent, turbulent relationship with food. We still went, but I think I am going to have to just pass from now on. For the past couple of weeks I have been a yard sale maniac after Chick-Fil-A. This weekend I made some good finds. Lila has taken a major interest in play jewelry and you can almost always find that at yard sales. I also purchased a mini grocery shopping cart and a fantastic rug for $2! Needless to say, Lila spent most of the day on Saturday ramming the shopping cart into walls and furniture while sporting a "pearl" necklace and lots of snot.
Saturday night we had a cookout with said friends that like to invite themselves over. It was FANTASTIC. Seriously, there is nothing better than being able to stay at your own house and put your child to bed and hang out with your friends. We are so lucky to have the kind of close friends that will invite themselves over because they know it's helpful for us! We grilled, we talked, and we made smores over a fire pit. It was a perfect fall night.
At some point over the weekend (can't remember when) Lila saw a big picture of herself on Seth's laptop and she started pointing and say "ya ya, ya ya, ya ya". It was the cutest thing EVER. It has happened a few more times over the weekend and I just love to watch her morph into a kid...I'm trying not to get upset that she is slowly becoming less and less of a baby.
So that was our weekend. In case you didn't pick up on it, I am not feeling so hot. If I am being honest, I wrote an entire post about it and then deleted it. I am trying SO hard not to whine and whine and whine about this even though I have felt this way for three months straight. I can't promise you won't hear about it again, but I am making an effort to keep it to a minimum.
Happy Monday ya'll!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Oh happy day
Today was a long one. I spent a large portion of the day trying to stop one child from waking the other. Lila feels the need to scream about everything. Sometimes she's being dramatic and whiny and other times it's just her latest version of talking. Carson doesn't scream/talk per say, but when she gets upset or hungry she can wail with the best of 'em. Throw in the fact that Seth came stomping into the house for five minutes this morning (still not sure why) waking Carson from her first nap instantly and you have the makings of a tiring day...for me that is.
Then, I got all ambitious again and wanted to make a dish by The Pioneer Woman for dinner. I had these grand plans until Seth again came rushing in asking when it was going to be ready because he had a fantasy something or other draft at 7. Not only did he have the draft but he had to do it at the office. Really? Sorry honey to call you out, but really? If you know ANYTHING about TPW, her recipes aren't exactly quick or on the low end of ingredients so I was already compromising in many ways. So dinner was pretty much disgusting. Seth left and I promptly went to Dairy Queen which inevitably made me feel worse.
I try really hard not to let Lila watch much TV. I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with TV for toddlers, but I would just rather be doing other things with her. Tonight I decided she and I were going to sit on the couch and watch something on the tube because I was grumpy and it was too early to put her to bed. I chose the going to bed video on the free Sprout channel. Stupidest thing I have ever seen. It's basically characters from all of the shows on Sprout sleeping. That's right. You spend thirty minutes watching cartoons and puppets sleeping. Some are even snoring. As I am about to pass out from boredom I look over and my perfect little girl is entranced in this silliness all cuddled up next to me. This would be why I do not create shows for children. We are quietly sitting in the dark watching and halfway through she starts softly "talking" in that way she does where she isn't saying words but she is SURE you know what she's saying. She's pointing and looking at me in the eyes as I say "oh really?" and "no way!" back to her. She is snuggly and happy and it just melts away the day.
When Katie picked Carson up today we started talking about how fast things go by. People tell you your kids will grow faster than you are prepared for, but people tell you a lot of things you don't fully hear or understand. Now I understand. Lila could have whined and screamed and woken Carson up all day long and at the end of the day she still makes me happier beyond anything I could have imagined. The biggest problem is that I have no way to bottle her up as she is right now...with her she-mullet, whispy blonde hair and roly poly legs....and her never ending list of new and exciting words....and her hugs that make you never want to let go...and her intense gaze into your eyes like that is the only way she can get you to understand. How can I EVER let her grow up?
It's a really good thing I have Seth to save the day when Lila is all grown up and living away from me. He may have frustrated me today, but he has a fantastic way of making me feel better at the drop of a hat. She really is her daddy's daughter isn't she?
Then, I got all ambitious again and wanted to make a dish by The Pioneer Woman for dinner. I had these grand plans until Seth again came rushing in asking when it was going to be ready because he had a fantasy something or other draft at 7. Not only did he have the draft but he had to do it at the office. Really? Sorry honey to call you out, but really? If you know ANYTHING about TPW, her recipes aren't exactly quick or on the low end of ingredients so I was already compromising in many ways. So dinner was pretty much disgusting. Seth left and I promptly went to Dairy Queen which inevitably made me feel worse.
I try really hard not to let Lila watch much TV. I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with TV for toddlers, but I would just rather be doing other things with her. Tonight I decided she and I were going to sit on the couch and watch something on the tube because I was grumpy and it was too early to put her to bed. I chose the going to bed video on the free Sprout channel. Stupidest thing I have ever seen. It's basically characters from all of the shows on Sprout sleeping. That's right. You spend thirty minutes watching cartoons and puppets sleeping. Some are even snoring. As I am about to pass out from boredom I look over and my perfect little girl is entranced in this silliness all cuddled up next to me. This would be why I do not create shows for children. We are quietly sitting in the dark watching and halfway through she starts softly "talking" in that way she does where she isn't saying words but she is SURE you know what she's saying. She's pointing and looking at me in the eyes as I say "oh really?" and "no way!" back to her. She is snuggly and happy and it just melts away the day.
When Katie picked Carson up today we started talking about how fast things go by. People tell you your kids will grow faster than you are prepared for, but people tell you a lot of things you don't fully hear or understand. Now I understand. Lila could have whined and screamed and woken Carson up all day long and at the end of the day she still makes me happier beyond anything I could have imagined. The biggest problem is that I have no way to bottle her up as she is right now...with her she-mullet, whispy blonde hair and roly poly legs....and her never ending list of new and exciting words....and her hugs that make you never want to let go...and her intense gaze into your eyes like that is the only way she can get you to understand. How can I EVER let her grow up?
It's a really good thing I have Seth to save the day when Lila is all grown up and living away from me. He may have frustrated me today, but he has a fantastic way of making me feel better at the drop of a hat. She really is her daddy's daughter isn't she?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I'm sorry, you said what exactly?
**Disclaimer** Anything in parentheses I did not actually say out loud.
1) Seth:
I am going out of town today until Friday. I told you that Jana. I'm taking "my guys" deep sea fishing.
Me:
Oh, that's right. I must not have realized it was this week. Well have a good time! (You are going to not be here for four days? I am already struggling with what to do all day and all night with a one year old so that we both aren't bored to tears and you are going fishing? Seriously?)
2) Me:
My one year old daughter has had diarrhea on and off since we put her on whole milk full time. Do I need to come in?
Nurse:
No, you need to change her diet. Less fruits and more starches would be the way to "firm up her poop". Try potatoes...you know like french fries?
Me: Ok, yea, I'll get right on that. (Seriously? Did you, a nurse, just medically suggest I give my one year old french fries?)
3) AC guy:
alsdkjfalksdjfla ksjdlfjasldkjflaj sdljfaljsdlfjalskdjfl asjdfljadslkfjals kdjflasjdlfjasldjf alsdjfalksdjf
Me:
Yea that makes sense. Great thanks for coming and taking a look! (SERIOUSLY have no idea what you are talking about...I just called you to come check out our horrible AC unit so that you can tell my husband what needs to be done. Can you stop talking and just email him a quote please?)
4) Lila:
Dogga! Baaaaa Baaaaaa
Me:
Alright Lila, remind me to let your daddy know that when you are in kindergarten telling all of your friends that a dog says "baaa" that HE is responsible for the mix up and must explain it to your teacher.
1) Seth:
I am going out of town today until Friday. I told you that Jana. I'm taking "my guys" deep sea fishing.
Me:
Oh, that's right. I must not have realized it was this week. Well have a good time! (You are going to not be here for four days? I am already struggling with what to do all day and all night with a one year old so that we both aren't bored to tears and you are going fishing? Seriously?)
2) Me:
My one year old daughter has had diarrhea on and off since we put her on whole milk full time. Do I need to come in?
Nurse:
No, you need to change her diet. Less fruits and more starches would be the way to "firm up her poop". Try potatoes...you know like french fries?
Me: Ok, yea, I'll get right on that. (Seriously? Did you, a nurse, just medically suggest I give my one year old french fries?)
3) AC guy:
alsdkjfalksdjfla ksjdlfjasldkjflaj sdljfaljsdlfjalskdjfl asjdfljadslkfjals kdjflasjdlfjasldjf alsdjfalksdjf
Me:
Yea that makes sense. Great thanks for coming and taking a look! (SERIOUSLY have no idea what you are talking about...I just called you to come check out our horrible AC unit so that you can tell my husband what needs to be done. Can you stop talking and just email him a quote please?)
4) Lila:
Dogga! Baaaaa Baaaaaa
Me:
Alright Lila, remind me to let your daddy know that when you are in kindergarten telling all of your friends that a dog says "baaa" that HE is responsible for the mix up and must explain it to your teacher.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
At WAR
Now that I am not working I really am trying to find ways to save money and spend less. I feel like there are things that are definite and things that are left to interpretation. For instance, you have to buy toilet paper. There's no getting around it. There are things I have tried to "get around" buying. I started using cloth diapers. I am trying to use less paper towels and only use actual dish towels. I started a vegetable garden that will (hopefully) yield enough for me to not have to buy a few things for at least a little while. We are making an effort not to eat out. I am going to the most horrific Walmart in America instead of going to Target (yes, Walmart is cheaper...but I also don't want that much in Walmart). So, as you can see I am seriously trying here.
When our third bout of ants began to attack our kitchen after multiple home remedy attempts, I called pest control. I chose to cancel our quarterly pest control last year. BAD CHOICE. Now they want me to pay $120 for the initial fixing of the ant problem, and then pay $65 every three months for the quarterly service again. I realize I never should have cancelled it. But $120??? Seriously? They are ants for God's sake. It's not like you are ridding my house of actual animals. So I set it up and then called Seth and we decided to see what else we could do to maybe figure it out ourselves.
Since that third bout we are now on instance number six where I kill them and they come back. My weapon of choice is Simple Green cleaner and I just spray them to death. The first time this was pretty liberating. I felt like I was winning. All of the previous times we used some gel stuff that Seth's friend gave us that was supposed to be the end and be all to getting rid of ants. It has never, ever worked completely. Today I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am losing the war. I spray and get frustrated and spray some more. It makes me feel like our house is disgusting.
Everyone says you have to find the source of the ants. Well obviously they come in from outside. I could crawl myself under our house, and maybe I would have a one a million chance of finding THE entrance the ants use. But let's be honest. What would I do then?
$120 is starting to not look like as much money as it did originally....
When our third bout of ants began to attack our kitchen after multiple home remedy attempts, I called pest control. I chose to cancel our quarterly pest control last year. BAD CHOICE. Now they want me to pay $120 for the initial fixing of the ant problem, and then pay $65 every three months for the quarterly service again. I realize I never should have cancelled it. But $120??? Seriously? They are ants for God's sake. It's not like you are ridding my house of actual animals. So I set it up and then called Seth and we decided to see what else we could do to maybe figure it out ourselves.
Since that third bout we are now on instance number six where I kill them and they come back. My weapon of choice is Simple Green cleaner and I just spray them to death. The first time this was pretty liberating. I felt like I was winning. All of the previous times we used some gel stuff that Seth's friend gave us that was supposed to be the end and be all to getting rid of ants. It has never, ever worked completely. Today I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am losing the war. I spray and get frustrated and spray some more. It makes me feel like our house is disgusting.
Everyone says you have to find the source of the ants. Well obviously they come in from outside. I could crawl myself under our house, and maybe I would have a one a million chance of finding THE entrance the ants use. But let's be honest. What would I do then?
$120 is starting to not look like as much money as it did originally....
Monday, May 17, 2010
Seriously random
When the doctor says, "surely we won't see three zebras in one week" you can be sure that your diagnosis will be less than specific. Saturday evening my feet began to swell like crazy. That isn't entirely odd for me. However, by the time I went to bed my hands and feet were blowing up and hurting tremendously. On Sunday the swelling continued along with some seriously splotchy skin. I assumed I was having an allergic reaction and went on about my day just hoping it would go away. Well, I woke up repeatedly last night with severe tingling and pain in my hands and arms. When I officially woke up and got out of bed my knees felt like they were going to buckle. I got in the shower to find a lump on the back of my head that hurt to touch. Needless to say at this point I am convinced I am dying. I call the doctor, list my crazy symptoms, make an appointment, and seek out some sort of solace in webmd. I get to work and just try not to lose my mind before my appointment at 3:15. Two of my students come in looking like they are really sun burned on their faces and I think nothing of it. They later tell me they have fifth's disease and they so sweetly explain what this is. I am a teacher and I have NEVER heard of this mess. So I google it. Apparently adults "catch" fifth's disease and the symptoms are very different from this childhood illness. I went to the doctor for him to tell me that he has seen two other young teachers in the past two weeks with the same symptoms. He says this is the type of question doctors answer on their boards but pretty much never see in real life and now they think they have seen it three times. So he tells me to take an obnoxious amount of ibuprofen until the swelling and pain subside. I also had blood drawn to rule out arthritis possibilities. So here I sit, laborously typing with my fat sore fingers. I just made a really long story even longer. I just can't help but find the whole thing to be super weird and I now have a new understanding of those who do have arthritis.
On a more positive note, the festivities of turning one have come to a close. The party was a huge success with the help of my wonderful friends and family. My little baby who picks up pieces of sand with her perfect pincer grasp also found it necessary to only pick off the pink icing on the massive cupcake cake. Dainty? Maybe. Not necessarily into getting dirty? More than likely. Either way, she did still get some on her as you can see.
I am so excited because I went to my fourth photography class tonight and the teacher loved my picture that is now in the header. He seems to be hard to please so I am pretty pumped. Up until tonight I have been pretty self-conscious about my picture taking abilities. Now I feel like I at least have a little more confidence. The photography field trip to the Oakland Cemetery on Sunday was supposed to help us reach some composition goals. I didn't think I had done it, but I did! Keep in mind I left said field trip early to go watch my tennis team win city. It was such an exciting set of matches and I am so proud of them! Anyway, below are pictures to show of my randomly fabulous weekend.
On a more positive note, the festivities of turning one have come to a close. The party was a huge success with the help of my wonderful friends and family. My little baby who picks up pieces of sand with her perfect pincer grasp also found it necessary to only pick off the pink icing on the massive cupcake cake. Dainty? Maybe. Not necessarily into getting dirty? More than likely. Either way, she did still get some on her as you can see.
I am so excited because I went to my fourth photography class tonight and the teacher loved my picture that is now in the header. He seems to be hard to please so I am pretty pumped. Up until tonight I have been pretty self-conscious about my picture taking abilities. Now I feel like I at least have a little more confidence. The photography field trip to the Oakland Cemetery on Sunday was supposed to help us reach some composition goals. I didn't think I had done it, but I did! Keep in mind I left said field trip early to go watch my tennis team win city. It was such an exciting set of matches and I am so proud of them! Anyway, below are pictures to show of my randomly fabulous weekend.
Birthday!
Photography class pictures:
1) This would be my square foot vegetable garden! Here I am working on depth of field...
2) Next we have the cemetary....this composition rule shows something called leading lines...
3) More cemetery (framing)
4) And lastly, using the rule of thirds, my most important subject :-)
Monday, April 26, 2010
Holy spread too thin batman
I am a little OCD. Ok. Maybe a lot. But, I don't think I fit the typical characteristics. Here are my symptoms:
1) I put things where they are supposed to go....over and over again....
In other words, I move things around frequently all the while with the mindset that the previous "home" of whatever items I am focused on wasn't the right home and they need to be moved. This would probably be complaint number one from my dear husband.
2) I feel a strong need to do an insane amount of things...sometimes all at once.
In the midst of spring hell I decided to plant a vegetable garden (that was technically Sara's idea), start a photography class, and sew a dress (two or three times because I consistently feel something is wrong with it). Throw in that my tennis team made it to the playoffs and my child is about turn ONE and I am teetering on the edge of my full plate.
3) I feel like nothing is ever clean....like really, EVER.
Due to the time consuming nature of numbers one and two (and being a mommy/wife) the cleaning gets shoved under the rug (hahaha). But, even when I do clean I truly feel like I could do it all day and things still wouldn't be clean. I have convinced myself that everyone with an old house feels that way. I don't want a new house. I love the "feel" of old houses. That is, houses that have character and style and are usually built before 1930. NOT houses like mine that were built in the mid sixties so they look lame and boring but come with the dirt and disaster that the cool old houses have without the charm. Unfortunately, the dirtiness that I can't seem to keep up with probably has way more to do with me/us than it does the house.
There you have it. OCD? A flair for the dramatic? You be the judge.
1) I put things where they are supposed to go....over and over again....
In other words, I move things around frequently all the while with the mindset that the previous "home" of whatever items I am focused on wasn't the right home and they need to be moved. This would probably be complaint number one from my dear husband.
2) I feel a strong need to do an insane amount of things...sometimes all at once.
In the midst of spring hell I decided to plant a vegetable garden (that was technically Sara's idea), start a photography class, and sew a dress (two or three times because I consistently feel something is wrong with it). Throw in that my tennis team made it to the playoffs and my child is about turn ONE and I am teetering on the edge of my full plate.
3) I feel like nothing is ever clean....like really, EVER.
Due to the time consuming nature of numbers one and two (and being a mommy/wife) the cleaning gets shoved under the rug (hahaha). But, even when I do clean I truly feel like I could do it all day and things still wouldn't be clean. I have convinced myself that everyone with an old house feels that way. I don't want a new house. I love the "feel" of old houses. That is, houses that have character and style and are usually built before 1930. NOT houses like mine that were built in the mid sixties so they look lame and boring but come with the dirt and disaster that the cool old houses have without the charm. Unfortunately, the dirtiness that I can't seem to keep up with probably has way more to do with me/us than it does the house.
There you have it. OCD? A flair for the dramatic? You be the judge.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Living the life...
....of two overworked parents. That's what we are doing. Seth is obviously way more overworked than I am, but I certainly am not finding a lot of time on my hands. I actually went to my tennis lesson tonight for the first time this season (we only have two matches left). The only reason I went is because we are in first place and I am playing with someone I don't normally play with this weekend.
Unfortunately, I always feel guilty when I go do something during the week without Lila. I feel even more guilty because I know Seth needs to be working. BUT, I almost felt like he wouldn't see her all week so one night of coming home early would have to be ok.
Anyway, these are the things that can happen when both parents work too much (and when they aren't working they want to be hanging out with baby):
- Your yard can start to look like a jungle. We have the nicest looking (and only) jungle on the street. There are really pretty flowers and shrubs that just happen to have about a foot of grass around them.
- Toys can start to appear EVERYWHERE. My feet hit the floor this morning on a jumbo lego. I am amazed I didn't then hit the wall.
- Your poor dog can revert to bad chewing behaviors because you aren't loving on her enough.
- Your child can instantly become covered in dog hair, eat dirt more often, and have stains on her pants from crawling on the dirtiest floor ever.
So, all of this being said, I want to say I'm sorry to our neighbors, our dog, Carson (the Bean's baby that my sister also keeps during the day), and our baby. Thank you for your patience as we try to survive the CRCT and the weeks before pools open. We are aware of the things that need to be done and I promise we are getting there!
*Disclaimer - I realize that I just took time to write this post. I always hate it when I read blogs where the person complains about not having enough time to do something and yet there they sit typing up a storm. In my defense, I am exhausted and the thought of mopping makes me want to barf. This took me five minutes and I did not have to move.
Unfortunately, I always feel guilty when I go do something during the week without Lila. I feel even more guilty because I know Seth needs to be working. BUT, I almost felt like he wouldn't see her all week so one night of coming home early would have to be ok.
Anyway, these are the things that can happen when both parents work too much (and when they aren't working they want to be hanging out with baby):
- Your yard can start to look like a jungle. We have the nicest looking (and only) jungle on the street. There are really pretty flowers and shrubs that just happen to have about a foot of grass around them.
- Toys can start to appear EVERYWHERE. My feet hit the floor this morning on a jumbo lego. I am amazed I didn't then hit the wall.
- Your poor dog can revert to bad chewing behaviors because you aren't loving on her enough.
- Your child can instantly become covered in dog hair, eat dirt more often, and have stains on her pants from crawling on the dirtiest floor ever.
So, all of this being said, I want to say I'm sorry to our neighbors, our dog, Carson (the Bean's baby that my sister also keeps during the day), and our baby. Thank you for your patience as we try to survive the CRCT and the weeks before pools open. We are aware of the things that need to be done and I promise we are getting there!
*Disclaimer - I realize that I just took time to write this post. I always hate it when I read blogs where the person complains about not having enough time to do something and yet there they sit typing up a storm. In my defense, I am exhausted and the thought of mopping makes me want to barf. This took me five minutes and I did not have to move.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Pop princess loathing
I have a MAJOR bone to pick.
Who told people like Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, and Ke$ha (oh how it pains me to even type that) that they could be a star? How does that happen? And a singing star at that. These insanely horrible "singers" who just happen to be able to throw together a show have always bothered me. I mean really, really bothered me. They get under my skin like nose picking and bad drivers. I try really hard not to expose myself to the garbage that is passed off as music by artists like this. I try really hard to dig out the good stuff that is hidden beneath the CRAP. It actually takes more effort than you might think.
Unfortunately, I found myself in a situation tonight where I began to watch a Miley Cyrus performance on American Idol and the train wreck that ensued was like a magnet. It's like when I played tennis last night and I kept hitting the ball right to the girl at the net in just the right spot for her to slam it so hard I had no chance. Seriously, this happened 29 times. It's the kind of thing where you know you should stop but something so hideous about it makes you incapable of changing your behavior. What's even more unfortunate is that this same "performance" watching experience happened not long ago on American Idol again when I ended up watching Ke$ha perform. I wanted to jump into the TV and scream. Let's be brutally honest here. If any of the above mentioned chicks had been on American Idol before they became "famous" the whole crew of judges would have ripped them to pieces. Miley Cyrus is "mentoring" people on this show who could sing her under the table. I would like to call Simon Cowell and suggest a sing off between Miley and any of the American Idol contestants. Eminem syle in 8 mile is what I am envisioning.
Why do I even care? Why am I letting this rattle me? As I mentioned, it has always bothered me but now I have a future teeny bopper to think about. I have a child who happens to be a girl and girls get sucked into Hannah Montana type disasters no matter what their parents say. I am fully aware that there will be many struggles and things to worry about along the way in regards to raising children. This one should be at the bottom of my list of concerns. I just need it to be noted at this very moment that I am going to do everything in my power to show LJ the really great music that I was shown. Maybe when she is watching the millionth season of American Idol someday someone that can actually sing will be her example. I'm not banking on it.
Who told people like Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, and Ke$ha (oh how it pains me to even type that) that they could be a star? How does that happen? And a singing star at that. These insanely horrible "singers" who just happen to be able to throw together a show have always bothered me. I mean really, really bothered me. They get under my skin like nose picking and bad drivers. I try really hard not to expose myself to the garbage that is passed off as music by artists like this. I try really hard to dig out the good stuff that is hidden beneath the CRAP. It actually takes more effort than you might think.
Unfortunately, I found myself in a situation tonight where I began to watch a Miley Cyrus performance on American Idol and the train wreck that ensued was like a magnet. It's like when I played tennis last night and I kept hitting the ball right to the girl at the net in just the right spot for her to slam it so hard I had no chance. Seriously, this happened 29 times. It's the kind of thing where you know you should stop but something so hideous about it makes you incapable of changing your behavior. What's even more unfortunate is that this same "performance" watching experience happened not long ago on American Idol again when I ended up watching Ke$ha perform. I wanted to jump into the TV and scream. Let's be brutally honest here. If any of the above mentioned chicks had been on American Idol before they became "famous" the whole crew of judges would have ripped them to pieces. Miley Cyrus is "mentoring" people on this show who could sing her under the table. I would like to call Simon Cowell and suggest a sing off between Miley and any of the American Idol contestants. Eminem syle in 8 mile is what I am envisioning.
Why do I even care? Why am I letting this rattle me? As I mentioned, it has always bothered me but now I have a future teeny bopper to think about. I have a child who happens to be a girl and girls get sucked into Hannah Montana type disasters no matter what their parents say. I am fully aware that there will be many struggles and things to worry about along the way in regards to raising children. This one should be at the bottom of my list of concerns. I just need it to be noted at this very moment that I am going to do everything in my power to show LJ the really great music that I was shown. Maybe when she is watching the millionth season of American Idol someday someone that can actually sing will be her example. I'm not banking on it.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
A whole bunch of CRAP
That is really an awful title for a post, but it embodies the things I want to cover. Aren't you excited?
My fabulous week of sickness ended with the stomach bug. Just when I had mostly kicked the throat funk I woke up on Thursday and was very excited to be feeling better. I missed work on Monday due to being sick. I should have stayed home Tuesday, and maybe even Wednesday, but I didn't. Getting a sub is more work than just going and suffering through it.
I knew I couldn't miss Thursday because we were going on a field trip. So the stars aligned that I felt better and I was excited about the field trip to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. Unfortunately, it was freezing. But, the kids tried so hard to enjoy it. Well, most of them did anyway. I didn't feel quite right during the field trip but I couldn't place the feeling. Then I ate lunch. Needless to say, the last thirty minutes and the bus ride back were TORTURE. No way was I going to stop a bus full of second graders. I was sitting in the very last seat in the very back of the bus and right before we got to school one of my students got a wicked bloody nose. Enter MY HELL. I did good to get my class into the building before I went into the teacher's lounge. The principal and vice principal were eating lunch and I busted out crying while managing to stammer that I was going to be sick. I promptly did just that (in the bathroom thank God).
I somehow got in my car and drove myself home only to run in the door where Katie and my sister are talking and say how sick I was and get to the bathroom again. Good times. So, I did not go to work on Friday and by the end of Friday I was a new person. Go figure.
Friday night Sara and I decided to watch Food Inc. I know, I know. Who spends 24 hours in the bathroom on and off to then watch a movie about how wrecked the food industry is? Well, as you can see I'm a little behind as usual. This movie came out a while ago. At least I am trying to catch up right?
Maybe you think organic food is a ploy to get you to spend more money. Maybe you look at the "crunchy" or "granola" moms out there and think how silly they are for spending more or taking more time to make foods that don't come out of a box. That was me two or three years ago. Slowly I started reading and paying attention and noticing more and more about the food I eat.
This movie has now put me over the edge. It is scary, overwhelming, disgusting, and disheartening. Here are the three things I took away from it:
1) If this is what the "government run" food industry has become, God help us if the government really does take over healthcare. When I said scary I was first referring to the fact that almost every politician that has a leading role in the FDA and/or USDA also has a leading role in major portions of the meat industry.
2) Farmers don't stand a chance. What started as the backbone of this country has now been degraded and destroyed to a point where it may never recover.
3) Individuals can make a difference. It may not ever change the whole system, but if you watch this movie and you don't at least consider making major changes you are just as much a part of the problem.
I have to find a way to really change many things about what I eat. I frequent the Dekalb Farmer's Market where everything is organic so I have already made steps in that regard. But, other regular grocery store items I often buy are going to have to make an exit from our lives. I am also looking into Co-ops. More on that coming soon! Sorry for the insanely long post. Thank you for reading all of it and have a great week!
My fabulous week of sickness ended with the stomach bug. Just when I had mostly kicked the throat funk I woke up on Thursday and was very excited to be feeling better. I missed work on Monday due to being sick. I should have stayed home Tuesday, and maybe even Wednesday, but I didn't. Getting a sub is more work than just going and suffering through it.
I knew I couldn't miss Thursday because we were going on a field trip. So the stars aligned that I felt better and I was excited about the field trip to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. Unfortunately, it was freezing. But, the kids tried so hard to enjoy it. Well, most of them did anyway. I didn't feel quite right during the field trip but I couldn't place the feeling. Then I ate lunch. Needless to say, the last thirty minutes and the bus ride back were TORTURE. No way was I going to stop a bus full of second graders. I was sitting in the very last seat in the very back of the bus and right before we got to school one of my students got a wicked bloody nose. Enter MY HELL. I did good to get my class into the building before I went into the teacher's lounge. The principal and vice principal were eating lunch and I busted out crying while managing to stammer that I was going to be sick. I promptly did just that (in the bathroom thank God).
I somehow got in my car and drove myself home only to run in the door where Katie and my sister are talking and say how sick I was and get to the bathroom again. Good times. So, I did not go to work on Friday and by the end of Friday I was a new person. Go figure.
Friday night Sara and I decided to watch Food Inc. I know, I know. Who spends 24 hours in the bathroom on and off to then watch a movie about how wrecked the food industry is? Well, as you can see I'm a little behind as usual. This movie came out a while ago. At least I am trying to catch up right?
Maybe you think organic food is a ploy to get you to spend more money. Maybe you look at the "crunchy" or "granola" moms out there and think how silly they are for spending more or taking more time to make foods that don't come out of a box. That was me two or three years ago. Slowly I started reading and paying attention and noticing more and more about the food I eat.
This movie has now put me over the edge. It is scary, overwhelming, disgusting, and disheartening. Here are the three things I took away from it:
1) If this is what the "government run" food industry has become, God help us if the government really does take over healthcare. When I said scary I was first referring to the fact that almost every politician that has a leading role in the FDA and/or USDA also has a leading role in major portions of the meat industry.
2) Farmers don't stand a chance. What started as the backbone of this country has now been degraded and destroyed to a point where it may never recover.
3) Individuals can make a difference. It may not ever change the whole system, but if you watch this movie and you don't at least consider making major changes you are just as much a part of the problem.
I have to find a way to really change many things about what I eat. I frequent the Dekalb Farmer's Market where everything is organic so I have already made steps in that regard. But, other regular grocery store items I often buy are going to have to make an exit from our lives. I am also looking into Co-ops. More on that coming soon! Sorry for the insanely long post. Thank you for reading all of it and have a great week!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Viva Las Vegas?
Well, all I can say is I'm pissed. I have been looking forward to this trip for MONTHS and the day I am set to leave I start to get a tickle in my throat. I fought it to the best of my mental ability. I told myself that it was the change in the weather and that it wouldn't stick around. Unfortunately, here I sit now in this amazing hotel room with an insanely sore throat.
I have had a great time so far, but I just wanted to go all out and I haven't been able to do that. Thursday night when I got here I walked around The Venetian for about twenty minutes and then went to bed. Friday morning I was feeling good (loaded up with Advil and Dayquil). We walked around The Forum shops, had lunch, and played penny slots. After lunch I began to feel that run down sick feeling coming on so I took a nap in hopes that it would refuel (and maybe cure) me before the big Cirque O show. We head to the show and I just feel miserable. The show was amazing of course. The Cirque people are so incredibly talented. Not to mention we had such good seats. The husbands have really outdone themselves with this trip. We head back to the hotel and I just can't get myself to do anything. All my body wants to do is go to bed and my head is telling me to go gamble and have fun. My body won that fight only to wake up at 6:30 am in a lot of pain. When I get sick it never fails. It all goes to my throat. The constant burning and irritation is overwhelming sometimes. BUT, I am trying to get up and just make the best of it today. I mean, I feel stupid being whiny. Seth and I are going to get a massage. We are staying in the nicest hotel I have ever stayed in. We went to a show last night that I have wanted to see for years. I just wish I felt better is all.
Seth says this just means we have to come back. Looks that way. Cross your fingers that sometime today my illness turns around and I have one really fun and crazy night!
I have had a great time so far, but I just wanted to go all out and I haven't been able to do that. Thursday night when I got here I walked around The Venetian for about twenty minutes and then went to bed. Friday morning I was feeling good (loaded up with Advil and Dayquil). We walked around The Forum shops, had lunch, and played penny slots. After lunch I began to feel that run down sick feeling coming on so I took a nap in hopes that it would refuel (and maybe cure) me before the big Cirque O show. We head to the show and I just feel miserable. The show was amazing of course. The Cirque people are so incredibly talented. Not to mention we had such good seats. The husbands have really outdone themselves with this trip. We head back to the hotel and I just can't get myself to do anything. All my body wants to do is go to bed and my head is telling me to go gamble and have fun. My body won that fight only to wake up at 6:30 am in a lot of pain. When I get sick it never fails. It all goes to my throat. The constant burning and irritation is overwhelming sometimes. BUT, I am trying to get up and just make the best of it today. I mean, I feel stupid being whiny. Seth and I are going to get a massage. We are staying in the nicest hotel I have ever stayed in. We went to a show last night that I have wanted to see for years. I just wish I felt better is all.
Seth says this just means we have to come back. Looks that way. Cross your fingers that sometime today my illness turns around and I have one really fun and crazy night!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
