Yesterday was a bad day. Like, a really, really bad day. Seth went out of town for the week the day we decided swaddling Evie is no longer an option. Needless to say, Tuesday night involved very little sleeping for the three Burrow ladies. Lila is a child whose temperament depends on sleep. If she gets none the next day is horrendous. But these days if she gets enough the "terrible twos" seem to be slipping away. Yesterday was the worst day we have in a long time.
Carson and Lila are also going through some very opposite changes which makes my job as constant referee a little harder. Carson is entering the combative two year old world where her need for control and independence are growing. Lila is entering the stage of less parallel play and more PLAY WITH ME NOW with other kids. So here's how that looks:
L: Carson let's dance!
L: Carson PLEASE let's dance!
C: No thank you.
L: (entering meltdown mode and in Carson's face) Carson dance now!!!!!
C: NOOOOOO! (shoves Lila)
L: (screaming and crying like someone just shredded her blanket) Mommy Carson won't dance!!!!
.....I diffuse Lila's hysteria....Lila calms down....
C: Lila dance?
.....and off they go into a blissful thirty minute running around dance fest that ends in a similar situation mentioned above about the use of a stroller, doll, magnet, or any other item in my house.
This all becomes magnified by the fact that they both can't sleep due to the snot and coughing extravaganza that has now become everyday life for them.
Most days I can diffuse most things and the times of chaos are few and far between. Yesterday just wasn't one of those days. And because Evie thinks that sleeping is something other people's kids do she starts screaming and crying just to fit in. Or because she's EXHAUSTED.
After Carson left yesterday Evie finally took a nap and Lila and I had a video chat with Sara. This part of the day was nice. Then Evie slept a little longer so Lila and I perused the Super Readers website. If you don't know, Super Readers is a fantastic little cartoon that Lila is obsessed with. She actually thought her Wonder Woman Halloween costume made her a Super Reader. Anyway, we did that for a while and then Evie woke up around dinnertime. We have no food and I desperately needed to get out of the house. I decided we would go drive through somewhere. Lila decided she hates me because I turned off the computer and put her in the car. She hasn't had an all out screaming-so-much-in-the-car-meltdown-mommy-wants-to-run-into-oncoming-traffic kind of episode in a really long time. I had actually forgotten how miserable those can be. I'm not proud, but I had had enough. So I screamed back. I'm not a screaming parent. But she was getting Evie riled up too and I just couldn't do it. After I screamed Lila went silent. After we drove through to get food and I gave her lemonade it was like the whole thing never happened. Don't you just love that about toddlers?
Needless to say, last night ended the day with a bang. Evie went to sleep just long enough for me to read and sing to Lila only to wake up and take over an hour for me to get her back to sleep. So both children were asleep somewhere around 10:30.
I'm not telling you all of this so you feel sorry for me. I'm not telling you all of this to be your birth control if you don't have kids. I'm telling you all of this to now tell you something else....
I was in the car taking Lila to school this morning and Evie fell asleep as she usually does. So I drove around to hopefully get a good nap in for her. While doing so I started listening to Dave FM and they are at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta doing a fundraiser. It seems that CHOA is in desperate need of funds. Anyway, they are calling it the Big Show for Little Voices I believe. They have families talking about how much CHOA means to them and why. I am listening to the stories of children who spent the first two years of their lives in the hospital. I am listening to moms who have bad days every day because they spend their lives watching their child suffer. And of course, I'm crying. I'm crying because I have two amazingly healthy and happy kids. I am crying because my bad day overwhelmed me to no end when it's one bad day among hundreds of good ones. I'm crying because I need to cut myself some slack. A two year olds everyday tantrum (or ten) is probably something one of those moms at CHOA would welcome with a big smile.
I know I'm allowed to be upset by our bad day. But God just wanted to make sure I knew how lucky I am to have that kind of a bad day. So God, if you're listening, I heard you loud and clear.