Friday, May 27, 2011

Mommy guilt overfloweth

Mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my mama said...

What a day yesterday was. I suppose you could say it was just a long day in general. Evie is struggling with reflux and general discomfort with eating that makes her pretty fussy when she's awake. Lila is adjusting to Evie like a champ. But, she also wants to play and be all over the place like any two year old. I'm working on balancing! Seth gives 200% to everything...he works late at his job, he goes to clean for me, and he gets no sleep right along with the rest of us. You could say we are both a little tapped out.

Last night Lila took a tumble in the bath tub and her forehead made an unfortunate connection with the hot water knob. Ironically, the actual tub faucet has a cute whale covering it to avoid such accidents. She and I both realized there was blood streaming down her face and there was a bit of a panic moment. She kept saying "what is it?!?" and I kept telling her it was okay. She calmed down pretty quickly, but head injuries are no joke. I called Seth and he headed home from work immediately. Evie was moments away from witching hour pandemonium.

Seth came home and was feeling pretty strongly that she would need stitches. I had been on and off the phone with a nurse at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta and we just weren't sure. Seth took Lila over to Meg's house (my great friend Meg is a PA as well as our fill in pediatrician) to see if he should then head to the ER. I tried to see if my mom or sister could come over (Seth's mom is out of town) but had no luck. Taking Evie to the ER was just not an option for us. Meg wasn't totally sure about stitches either so Seth and I decided they just needed to go.

Here is where the guilt floodgates opened. I already felt bad the whole thing even happened. And now they were going to the ER without me. My baby was going to a scary place to have something scary done to her and I wasn't even going to be there. In no way do I think Seth isn't capable. I am fully aware that she won't remember or really be concerned with the fact that I wasn't there. But I am her mom. That is where I was supposed to be.

A few hours, three stitches, lots of baby/mommy crying, and a loopy little girl later Seth and I were putting her to bed. This too shall pass. I will get over appears she already has ;-)

She loves the purple band-aid on her face and refuses to take off the hospital bracelets.


  1. So precious that she won't take off the hospital bracelets! She wants everyone to know she is a survivor! Please call me next time. I would have been there in a heartbeat! I'm sure that was hard to not be there with her, but you are a great mom! :)

  2. There will definitely be days like this. And mommy guilt is a ferocious beast that shows itself whenever it possibly can. Rest assured it will pass and always know that everything will be okay-your child is loved, and they know they are loved. At the end of the day, that is all that really matters. And colorful band-aids of course :) Keep up the good work, you're a great momma!


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