Sunday, May 9, 2010


Everyone has their hang ups.  Some people are fortunate enough in life to make it to adulthood without being teased about something as a kid. They don't have a feature that stands out enough for others to find it worthy of torment. Such people sail through life not having that feeling of wanting something about themselves to go away so badly that they wish for it every night before they go to bed.  I am not one of those people.

I spent a decent portion of my childhood wishing away my ears. I even had a very serious conversation with my dad about having surgery to have them pinned back. Of course he repeatedly told me that my ears were one of my very best features. But I was persistent. He told me that if I would wait a few years until high school and I still felt the same way that we would look into it. Once I reached high school they still bothered me, but the teasing was non-existent and I didn't care enough anymore to pursue it.  Smart man that dad of mine.

When I found out I was pregnant I again found myself wishing that this physical feature somehow wouldn't make an appearance. Kids are mean and I was just hoping that this one thing wouldn't be an issue. The day Lila was born I couldn't help but smile about it because I thought her ears were perfect. They didn't seem to stick out at all. As she has grown this past year I have started to realize that while her ears don't stick out as much as mine, they do to some degree. I mentioned it to Sara one day and she smiled a little smirk that let me know that she had kind of seen it all along.

What's so interesting is that Lila is obsessed with ears. She primarily prefers her own. She is a thumb sucker but while most little girls suck their thumb and twirl their hair, Lila sucks her thumb and plays her with her ear (maybe due to the lack of hair?). Sometimes, if I am holding or rocking her when this happens she will play with my ear.

I went out of town this weekend for a wedding and I missed her terribly. When I got home today it was nap time and while I was holding her she started sucking her thumb and playing with my ear for quite a while. This was suddenly the most precious mother's day gift I could have gotten. Something that used to traumatize me as a child has come full circle to become so immeasurably wonderful it made me cry. Maybe I cried because I had missed her so much. Maybe I cried because I can tell her this little story if the day comes that she is teased and it will ease the frustration a little. Or maybe I just needed this perfect little someone to come along and take that silly feeling of inadequacy away.

Happy Mother's Day ;-)

1 comment:

  1. beautiful story, jana! that is just so sweet. and i have always thought your ears were quirky and cute. :)


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