ch-ch-ch-changes

I have been looking forward to this week for months.  School is out. My career as a teacher temporarily ends and my career as a SAHM begins.  I anticipated being overwhelmed by the fact that my learning cottage basically threw up in my house. I also anticipated feeling overwhelmed by things that need to be done...needless to say some things have been piling up. I even anticipated that I would want to smother my child all day with hugs and kisses.

What I did not anticipate is how this change might seem to Lila. It could be that more teeth are coming in. It could be a one year old growth spurt. It most likely is that she is truly living up to her age. Whatever it is, my sweet and happy little girl was a major grumpy pants ALL day. She would fake cry at the drop of a hat and sometimes even cry for real. I think it was really strange to her that Sara was here, Carson was here, and I was here all day. She was needy and cranky and not very happy with me at times.

I know what you're thinking. All children behave this way. The thing is, I somehow got lucky enough to have a child that rarely acts this way. So when she does I of course dissect what the issue could be. It's really a futile process because she is one. Seriously. She can't tell me why she insists on having a meltdown. She isn't sick. From there its a ridiculous guessing game.

What's worse is, I laugh. I can't help it. Baby meltdowns, for whatever reason, are hysterical to me. Sara and I recently saw the documentary Babies and there is a baby meltdown scene that was quite possibly one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Sara and I were the only people in the theater other than a couple a few rows ahead of us. I felt like a jerk because I almost couldn't control myself I was laughing so hard. I then had visions of this meltdown when Lila had some of her tantrums today and it all came rushing back. I feel like a huge jerk laughing at my cranky kid, but I guess it's better than joining her in her meltdown.