Monday, February 8, 2010

Breaking my own rules

The Baby Wise method of parenting has been my method of choice since Lila was born. I nannied/babysat for two families who used Baby Wise and I have never seen such happy and well rested children in my life. I'm not talking about three and four year olds. I'm talking about infants. I would ask the parents what they did and how they got their three month old to sleep through the night and they simply told me to read Baby Wise. I know it isn't for everyone, but I give this method full credit for Lila's amazing sleep habits....up until two weeks ago. I will say I am a more flexible Baby Wise mom. If you don't know anything about it there are two main goals that I relied upon. The first one being to follow the eat/play/sleep cycle. In other words, letting baby go directly to sleep after eating is a no no which can be VERY hard to do when they are little. Second, begin a schedule as early as you can and stick to it. Some people will tell you this isn't possible, but I disagree. I have also read a lot of negative things about trying to schedule a baby. Again, it has worked incredibly well for me and I think Lila is a very well adjusted and happy baby.

So what's the problem you ask? Well, roughly two weeks ago she started waking up in the middle of the night. At first it was just once or twice for about ten minutes and she would go back to sleep on her own. It has now progressed into at least two times a night for extended periods of time each time she wakes up. She is screaming and unhappy and nothing we do fully gets her to go back to sleep. She is starting to get her first tooth so we are assuming this is the issue. So here we are very spoiled by our fabulous sleeper and very unsure of what to do because we haven't had to deal with a baby that wakes up in the night.

I am also not a fan of co-sleeping. There are many various reasons why that I don't need to go into, but we have always agreed that our children will not sleep in our bed. That isn't to say that I haven't taken the occasional nap with her or brought her to our bed in the morning on the weekends. That, to me, isn't co-sleeping. BUT, last night I broke my own rule. It was 3:30 and she had been crying off and on for what seemed like forever. Seth and I had both tried to get her back to sleep and it just wasn't happening. After multiple nights like this where we both go to work the next day miserable and exhausted I turned to him and said I was bringing her to sleep with us because I had to get some sleep. She snuggles her little self up next to me and passes out in three minutes. she manipulating me? Can a nine month old even do that? Did she just need that much security because she didn't feel good? Was she not warm enough? Seriously, parenting is like a sea of questions that no one can ever really answer for sure.

I guess we were due for some serious sleepless nights. I think I just assumed that because we had come this far it wouldn't be an issue. All I know is that last night I caught a glimpse of why parents do co-sleep. I loved having her with me all cuddled up and cozy. It will NOT become a habit, but I'm just saying I can see how the choice could be made.

So cross your fingers that she sleeps all night without a peep...Seth and I are running on empty and it's only Monday.


  1. You will get some sleep at some point, I promise. Connor did the same thing at the same age. Unfortunately, we just had to let him scream it out, but after 2 nights of that, he quit waking up, PERIOD.
    However, whatever choice you make is the right one for you. Do what you have to do to sleep! If Momma ain't happy, ain't no one happy!

  2. ok...this is a really weird comment to leave, but who is the other Sarah who ALSO has a baby named Connor?!?! I've got a cold and am on drugs, but I will be seriously freaked out I left a comment and don't remember.

    Hope you guys get some sleep tonight! That is no fun.

  3. mj had a phase like this around nine months. throw the rules out and follow your gut...they'll still be there when things go back to normal!

  4. Ha! Sarah, yes I have another friend named Sarah who has a son named did not leave a doped up comment! What's funny is, I thought her comment was you!!!

  5. I'm sure you don't remember this, but I had to let YOU scream it out for a few nights before you went back to sleeping all night. That's a hard thing to do ... harder then because we lived in an apartment complex where our "neighbors" could hear it too. If Lila passed out in your bed but not in hers, I don't think teething is the issue. If she's cutting teeth and they hurt in HER bed, they'll hurt in YOUR bed too. That's just my opinion. You need to do what works for you and Seth. But two or three nights of letting her cry it out might be worth a shot, if the alternative is to co-sleep and have to break THAT habit later. Again, just an opinion! I love you!!

  6. Sorry! Anonymous is me, Mom. I hit the wrong button!

  7. I agree with everyone else! The rules are your rules because they have worked for you in the past, not just because some book says you should do it. Like you said, you adjusted Baby Wise a little to fit for you. So the real rule is to do what works best for your family--and you ALWAYS follow that one, which is why you're such a great mom!


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