Thursday, July 30, 2009

Erin Brockovich step aside

I really think that the movie, not the person herself per say, ruined what is deemed "appropriate" attire for women. Slap some really white trash outfits on Julia Roberts and you are bound to convince a rather astonishing percentage of women that they too can dress this way and look hot. Case in point: I went to Target yesterday to begin back to school/don't fit into my pre-baby clothes shopping (yes I know that leave my child and go to work day is this coming Monday) and I was waiting to go into a fitting room. I take the stroller into Target. That way, I don't have a cart and I don't buy as much for lack of space. However, when wanting to try on clothes I had to wait at least 15 minutes for the extra large dressing room containing a lady, her screaming two year old, and every article of clothing at Target. So as I patiently wait, Erin Brockovich wannabe (we will call her EBW) walks up with her two sons who look about 7 and 9. These boys are adorable. She hands them their stuff to try on and into the dressing rooms they go. Let me just paint a picture here for you. Do you know how you sometimes see teenage girls with their hair in a very messy, strange sort of ponytail on the top of their head? The hair hasn't been pulled through the elastic all the way so there is just a gigantic mound of hair piled high that has obviously been forced to look that way. Sunglasses have been shoved into the mess at the forefront with lots of rhinestones on them. That was EBW's first offense totally unrelated to Erin Brockovich, but worth mentioning. The rest goes like this:
1) Two different color (blue and black I think) sets of large hoop earrings along with a smattering of other earrings up the ears.
2) A very tight white tank top with thin blue stripes boasting a black bra out the front, but oddly covering her midsection.
3) The shortest navy blue-ish miniskirt I have ever seen
4) Plastic-ish wide strap sandals in tiger print

You could tell EBW was sure she looked amazing. I have a self-admitted staring problem so I probably solidified this belief by being physically incapable of looking away. In her defense, she probably took one look at me and thought "that lady could have at least tried not to look like the only thing missing from her outfit is the vacuum cleaner and curlers". Listen, I would rather be me than her any day. For a minute I thought about asking her name so that I could become friends with her and then get her on "What Not To Wear". Stacy and Clinton would have a FIELD DAY with this one. But I know in my heart I would only be doing that because I secretly want to be on the show myself (hint, hint). Who am I to judge right? Actually, I am the person who can see EBW's behind hanging out of her mini...that's who I am.

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