Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Whiny baby

That's me. I have hit the realm of pregnancy where I believe no one should have to be subjected to me. Yesterday I could have drop kicked my dogs, agonizing back pain and all. I'm pretty sure Seth came home last night and for the first time (well, I'm hoping for the first time) truly saw the bitch that lies within me. I would say I am a pretty laid back person. I have tendencies of sheer irrational irritability that I believe I get outright (thanks dad), but this pregnant person is a totally different animal. I've never even seen her before and she is SCARY. This whole time I have thought to myself, pregnancy is easy! I could totally do this four more times in four years. Mark my words...Seth said he wanted five kids in five years on our second date and that was the moment I fell in love...if he even breathes such nonsense in my direction now I will not only be shocked but I will be forced to run in the other direction.

Seriously though, I feel like a wind up toy. Someone is winding a screw into my lower back that pulls the muscles that lead to my shoulder blades. This in turn sets off a signal in my brain to allow sheer frustration to come oozing out over something like putting on my socks and shoes, which then opens the floodgates. I decided today that I am just no longer bending over. If I dropped something at work I would ask the nearest kid to pick it up. Yes I got a lot of confused looks, but they did it and didn't say a word, God love 'em.

Also, if one more person sees me and they get the deer in headlights look I am going to look at their rear end or something similar and give the same look back.

On the up side, I would imagine being pregnant is like being bipolar. How is that an up side you ask? Well, I think I have mentioned this before, but there are many moments of extreme excitement and joy. I mean, wouldn't you be excited if you ate an entire box of samoas and you didn't feel bad about it AT ALL? No really, the sappy and lovey side of being pregnant makes up for the back pain and psychotic tendencies. I simply cannot wait to see ninja baby up close. Just the thought of hearing "it's a girl!" or "it's a boy!" makes me teary eyed (in the not psychotic way). I know this post makes it sound like I will never want to get pregnant again, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I just feel that brutal honesty about how I am feeling suits me better than sappy sugar coating :-)

4 comments:

  1. My precious baby girl, I so feel your pain, your irritability, your loss of yourself! You have done SO good so far, so stop beating yourself up. Back pain from pregnancy is enough to send the most sane person over the edge (like ME or YOU). When our precious Pickle makes her/his debut, you'll forget there was EVER anything uncomfortable about getting her/him here. You're in for the most FABULOUS feelings, emotions ... total oblivion to the past 9 months of symptoms, no matter how bad. I know that's no consolation now, and I so wish I could take your pain away. God knows I would do anything for you! But what you'll feel when you hold her/him the first time will make you forget 9 months of pregnancy was even a part of it! The end is so near! I love you so much! Mom

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  2. Hang on Jana, not much longer now and you can do it! :) You are going to be a fantastic Momma!

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  3. It's okay to complain! Especially since you haven't done much of that so far! Like your mom said, don't beat yourself up--it will be here soon, and you will be such an amazing mom!

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  4. It's true - you really will forget about the 9 months of misery. How else do you think I ended up with 3 kids :)

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