Phoning it in

Something in me has changed in one short year. Something big and glorious and breathtaking. Breathtaking because I feel the biggest sigh of relief at my own permission to be less ambitious about something. Now I sit and wonder what I was waiting for. 

For Lila's first birthday I wanted it to be perfect. I needed it to be perfect. I made the big cupcake cake, paid quite a lot for invitations, made a ton of food, and I couldn't tell you much else about it. That's because I was so paranoid and trying to be so mommy on the spot that it became a blur. 

Lila's second birthday was not this way. This is the only one so far that I phoned in even a little. We had the party a month after her birthday because I had just given birth to Evie. But, it was a massive pool party with lots of food made by me. Seth spent the entire time at the grill, and I felt like I spent the entire time in a bedroom nursing Evie. BUT, there was this amazing cake made by Seth's aunt and this two year old face next to it. My heart breaks just looking at that face and wondering where the time went. 

Almost a year ago for their third and first birthdays it seems I was living in overdrive mode. There are many reasons I felt the need to have two overdone parties:

1) I/We survived Evie's first year of life. It was time to ce * le * brate!

2) Lila's third year of life seemed like a blur, and I felt all sorts of guilt for that.

3) Pinterest.

4) Pinterest.

5) STUPID PINTEREST.

So, off I went on a Pinterest binge which resulted in two really cute, overly expensive, exhausting parties. Evie's was all things Cinco de Mayo and Lila had the best art party I could possibly come up with. The interesting thing is, I remember every last detail of both parties. They were so much fun in so many ways. Even while feeling like my head was spinning I soaked it all up. 

But, in spite of all that fun and cuteness I am over it. Birthday parties like that are too much work. In the coming years I will have the task of deciding if we should have one party or two because their birthdays are a week apart. Really though, in my head there is no question there should only be one. I guess that will be the case until they start to question it! 

Anyway, this year I sent an Evite. This was partly because I didn't want to spend the money on the fancy invites, and partly because I just did it yesterday. No time left for the real deal. 

This year we are going to a free playground where there will probably be a million other people there. 

This year we are ordering pizza and bringing juice boxes. That's what kids want anyway.

I may splurge on some awesome favors. OR, I may get them matching playground T-shirts being that I won't be able to do that for forever. Regardless, this year I will play, play, play with my girls as they celebrate turning four and two. I won't care if my house is clean, if the food is ready, or if there are eighteen Pinterest projects completed. THANK GOD. I must be less ambitious more often. It's incredibly liberating.