I have now had four conversations in the past month with some dear friends who also happen to be working moms. It dawned on me today in the days after my funk post that maybe these conversations weren't by chance.
We all know there are all sorts of moms out there.
Moms who work and will tell you all day long that they could never stay home full time.
Moms who work and love their jobs, but question if they love them enough to not stay home.
Moms who work because they have no choice even though their hearts break because they can't be at home.
Moms who stay home while having the itch to do something that gives them a space outside of being mom 24/7.
Moms who stay home and have the patience of a saint and therefore never feel the need to be away from their child(ren) for a second.
There are about a million more possible descriptions. But the message I hear is always the same. I just want to be there. I just want the time. I just want what's best. There's always so much talk about mommy guilt and not enough talk about what we, as moms, do so brilliantly every day.
Some get up at 4:30 am to take a breath and breastfeed the baby before taking him to daycare.
Some work long hours patiently waiting for the minutes, hours, days they get with the toddler they miss when work is so busy.
Some are trying to understand how to balance the insane love they feel for the new baby with the emotion that comes with being a new older sibling in their first baby.
Some work very hard for very little money with hopes for the opportunity to give their child(ren) more.
I just want those moms (or anyone in a funk ;-) to know that I hear you. I see you. I applaud you. I'm sure it seems I am beating a dead horse here, but when I first started mommyhood I felt very alone a lot of the time. I felt like no one understood. It turns out they did. I just started the adventure a little earlier than most of my friends. Take a minute ladies and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. every. single. day.
Great post Jana! I think that all of these kids are so lucky to have moms that love them so dearly and work so hard to provide a happy and healthy life for them.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jana. I think you are right that these conversations are not happening by chance. There are times when I feel much more acceptance about being a working mom (really, it is probably more like avoidance or denial, but I digress). Lately though, it mostly just feels like a raw, exposed nerve (which I probably why I had to close my door at work since tears were streaming down my face as I read your post). I am hoping for more peace about the situation and less mommy guilt...or, in the alternative, a big lottery win.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jana! I like Josie cried as I read this!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we all have each other to share perspective and understand! And maybe I should start buying lottery tickets :)
ReplyDelete