Thursday, May 29, 2014

Ebb and Flow

I would like to add to the never ending list of things no one tells you before you become a parent. No one mentions that just when you think you're the jam and you've got this gig down, you wake up one day and realize it's all gone to shit (sorry I can't make my brain find a better word here).  You become achingly aware of the fact that you know so little and yet so much while also knowing nothing at all. That's right. That garbled sentence is parenting. If people still used bumper stickers I would have one made. Maybe people would use it instead of the stick figure family, and I'd be rich.

But then…oh and then…there are those times where you find yourself sitting in the silence at eight o'clock at night and you can't help but smile because the kids are asleep. It has nothing to do with how awesome you are as a parent. Parenting is like the tide. It's going to come in and it's going to go out and there is no controlling the beast. Parenting is as vast, unpredictable, and breathtaking as the ocean. I am replacing my usual melodrama with ridiculous philosophical nonsense, but you get the point.

It has everything to do with knowing that there will be phases, stages, and difficulties that you can't stand followed by a period of relief. The knowing is half the battle really.

After a long, hard school year for Lila things are turning around now. I'm trying to repair the damage caused by her terrible introduction to "big kid school". She's eating up every second of summer like it's going to end tomorrow. Evie is perfecting her role as little sister AND soon to be big sister. It's the calm before the chaos really. This summer will need to be remembered as just that…calm, carefree, and magical.

That's right. I used the word magical about a time where I will be enormously pregnant in the Georgia summer heat.

You see, when the parenting pendulum swings towards the easy days you must relish in them. When kids are sleeping well, fun things are going on, and moods are generally good you can't just carry on as scheduled. You must appreciate that your biggest concern is sweating through your clothes that feel too tight but have to last you two more months.

This is me appreciating. I am in the upswing cycle of parenting for the moment and it's a glorious thing to be here in the silence eating ice cream and writing blog posts.


  1. I needed this! I'm reaping the benefits of things being glorious for you! You are such a fabulous mom and a great example!

  2. You ride the waves as they come, whether rising or falling, and you repair the damages of your babies' lives that enrage you but are somewhat out of your control. Now the magical moments are yours. Embrace them with every fiber of your being! You have the upper hand, simply because you recognize each phase for what it is, and you do the best you can with it. You are so ahead of the game, Jana. I hope you know that. And it's all because you're willing to look inside and really see. I'm so proud of you. I love you.


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