Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Holla Hump Day

Being that I didn't really do a post about the father of my children on Father's Day, I would like to use this Holla Hump Day post to gush about my one and only.

I have been down in the dumps. It happens. Father's Day plus extenuating circumstances just sort of did me in for a few days. I think Seth is getting used to this. I think when these bouts come at me like a slap to the face he now knows how to roll with it and reign in the crazy. Not that he didn't know before. It's just that grief is a big, winding, biotch of a learning curve.

Anyway, after a date night on Sunday where I dropped my basket in the middle of dinner at a fancy schmancy sushi place, I knew things were about to get ugly. Crying in public is not my gig. Especially ugly crying where you might snort and you for sure look like you need the Heimlich maneuver. Pretty sure I was six the last time that kind of crying happened for me in public. I'm not saying there are people who like to do this. I'm merely pointing out that some people tolerate certain things much better than others. I'm not big on PDA either.

SO, when Monday took a quick downward spiral as well Seth came home early. He made dinner, got the girls ready for bed, and told me to do whatever I needed to do. I just laid in the bed and listened to the sounds of my house running without me being an active participant. If you haven't ever had the chance to do this I strongly recommend it. Immense gratitude comes with a quiet moment to listen to your own life.

Yesterday and today have been much better. These are the bounce back days where the fog lifts and I start to feel human again. I realize how dramatic that sounds, but it's just the truth. Seth calls in the middle of the day and asks what my plan is for dinner. I answer with something snarky like, "well I bought some chicken today". This is my way of saying nothing exciting is happening for dinner.

He doesn't miss a beat and asks if we can put together a picnic and head to Stone Mountain. This is why my husband is an amazing father.

In addition to the typical lovely dad qualities I truly believe that a man who takes care of his wife in turn takes care of his children...and vice versa. If I have learned anything about marriage, that's it. Take care of each other.

Seth knows that doing things like that really lifts my spirits. I love family time and the past few months have been nuts. We have been lacking in that department. Watching my little family walk by the water, climb on rocks, and feel the breeze on a beautiful bridge gave me the kick I needed. Grief has taken a lot from me. Seth gives it all back and then some.

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