A Good Challenge

Boyfriend Look by janaburrow featuring 
Boyfriend fragrance sephora.com

Not that long ago I posted this status on Facebook:

"I need a stylist...that works for free...any takers?"

I actually had quite a few responses. Apparently everyone else has some sort of clue about how to dress themselves but me. It's cool though. I'm totally up for learning the ropes.

Here's the thing. I'm thirty-ish. I go to most stores and see what I fear my girls will want to wear someday, clothes for my mom's age that my mom shouldn't even wear, and nothing in between. I went on a brief shopping trip with one of the responders to my Facebook post and got a jolt of confidence in my attempts at looking my age while looking fashionable. It was glorious. Now if I just had the funds to run with my new found desire to be cute all the time. For now, Polyvore fits the bill. Sort of. My sister told me about Polyvore forever ago, but at the time I felt like it was overwhelming. Then I started seeing these little "sets" all over Pinterest and tried again. Low and behold it's more like a game and less like a commitment to finding the perfect outfit. Sold! I get to pretend I have the money to splurge on these sets without actually spending any money. And, I can look at a set like the one above and probably find something very similar in a store someday that I can afford. At least there's a jumping off point now. Instead of wandering aimlessly I might have a goal beyond finding a shirt I love and buying it in three different colors (don't pretend you don't do that).

Then, while cruising Bloglovin, I came across a bit of a challenge. It said, "WIN KATE WALSH'S BOYFRIEND". Don't get the wrong idea. This was obviously one of those "huh?" moments. Apparently, Boyfriend is the name of her new fragrance line. AND, she is hosting a blog challenge. I love a good challenge (please send me your pictures!). Anyway, the idea is that you create a Polyvore set or look board and include the fragrance. Kate Walsh picks ten blogs out of the entries, sends you her Boyfriend (wink, wink), and promotes your blog. Not only do I love a good challenge, I love a little free promotion of the good stuff I'm trying to do here. I figured, why not? 

I went straight to Polyvore and whipped up the cute little "boyfriend" inspired set above. Honestly, this is a tough week already so this form of retail therapy was just what I needed. Especially since I didn't spend a dime!

Now let's hold our collective breath and see if I win! 

New Experiences...sort of

I would guess that most parents of little ones will tell you that the best part of parenting is experiencing new things for the first time with your child. This could range from blowing the first bubble themselves to stepping onto the school bus that first day of school. Every single day holds a new experience and a new chance to see it through the eyes of your child. Of course, I could never even begin to list all of the new experiences with my kids here. But, I think some of the not so every day things are worth documenting.

Lila had a couple of firsts this weekend. When I say first, I actually mean second or third. At this age these are the first times where she may remember these things. She has definitely stayed in a hotel before. She has actually been in a wedding before. However, now she knows what a wedding really is and why you would need to stay in a hotel sometimes. Therefore, we will call them "sort of firsts".

My mom's cousin's daughter (my second cousin?) got married just outside of Montgomery, Alabama this past weekend. Lila was beyond thrilled to go for many reasons. She adores my cousin's daughter, Anna Kate, who was also going to the wedding. Plus, recently Lila has been asking to look at pictures of our wedding while telling me she wishes she could have gone to it. Staying in the hotel with just Vivi (my mom) and I was an added perk she didn't realize was going to happen. The wedding was so perfect and beautiful, and Lila really enjoyed herself. I cannot advocate enough, if you have more than one child, to do things with each individual child as much as you can. Seth got to spend a lot of the weekend with Evie just the two of them. Plus, Evie got some one on one Grammy time with his mom. Every time we do something like this I always feel like both girls get a great deal out of it.

Anyway, here are a few highlights...

1) The wedding was outside. Lila spent half the ceremony trying to stand in her chair to see "the princess". When the groomsmen came out she quietly whispered, "mommy, there are all of the princes!!!". Regardless of how much I discuss weddings with her and show her pictures, anyone dressed up is a prince or a princess. 

2) The ceremony and reception were at the same place. It was one of those old farm house type places with beautiful grounds. Every time we went in the house to go to the bathroom she wanted to walk around and look in every room. She wanted me to tell her who lived in each room and where they were so she could meet them. I tried to explain that it was just a place to have weddings now, but she wasn't having it.

3) She found it so entertaining that she got to sleep on the couch that was also a bed.

4) As you can see in the picture above, we ordered room service! This absolutely was a real first for Lila. It was done more out of necessity than a strong desire to pay $20 for cereal, fruit, muffins, and coffee. Lila wakes up READY TO EAT. She also woke up at 6:45 am. Let's just say between Vivi and I there was no rushing to get out of the hotel and go find some food. Morning people we are not.

So while all of the baby and toddler firsts are magical and amazing, the big girl "sort of firsts" are such a treat as well!

Photo Op Challenge Take 3

Look at you lovelies! I stuck in a few of myself at the end here just to show I'm taking my own challenge. I promise we don't just lay around all day. That simply seems to be the easiest time to get Evie to take lots of pictures with me.  And, Lila was at the height of feeling terrible in that last one. Isn't it interesting how much they snuggle and love on you when they are miserable? Lila's pretty lovey as it is, but when she's not feeling good she just wants to be held. I love it. Especially since I am going to the lottery for the PRE-KINDERGARTEN class tomorrow. I really cannot wrap my brain around that. So, I'm going to change the subject so I don't totally freak out. 

Hey guess what??? Isn't She Lovely is Facebook live! If you click the little Facebook button to the right over there it will take you to it and then you can go like it. I mean, if you want. 

Thank you again for the pictures! Have a lovely weekend.

I'd rather be workin' for somethin' than prayin' for the rain...

Me too, James. Me too.

Before Isn't She Lovely came to life I would rarely and randomly showcase music I love here. I felt kind of timid about it. I was slightly afraid to put something out there that people would roll their eyes at...or simply think was weird. Now, I honestly just want to share it all. If it's not your style or makes you wonder what I see in it, feel free to ask. I will gladly tell you. 

I am always on the hunt. It's tough because the market is so saturated with crap...except for when someone like Justin Timberlake comes back to life. I'm still waiting for Lauryn Hill to climb out of the hole she's been living in and bring us something amazing. 

Anyway, I would love to hear what you think of some of the music I post. Were you already a James Vincent McMorrow fan? Are you feeling love at first sight right now? Is this song putting you to sleep? Just wondering. 

Also, if you are a music digger as well I would like to share my secret sources (that I may or may not have shared before). As I find new sources I will post them here too. 

Source #1

My sister. This one's from her. The one before was too. And probably the one before that. Let's go with 95% of it is from her. We share the same intense passion. The difference is she's younger and lives in Brooklyn. She is immersed. I listen to the Disney princess CD in my car half the time. 

Source #2 

Noisetrade. You still really have to weed through. The gems are there though. If I had all day I am confident I would feel overwhelmed with good stuff!

Source #3

A blog called Today's Letters. I often really love what she picks. Sometimes it all sounds the same to me too though! Regardless, her blog is pretty awesome as well. 

Happy hunting!

Holla Hump Day

This week's shout out go to...

...Sonja. Please read the previous post. LIFE SAVER.

...anyone in my life who has tried to schedule something with me and I have either forgotten, not shown up, or rescheduled eight times. For some reason in the past month (maybe longer) I am totally off track. No, I'm not pregnant. Seriously. I scheduled pictures to be taken of my family on the same day as my yard sale (which was rescheduled to that day itself). I signed up for the March of Dimes Walk on the day of a wedding I am going to (this weekend). I just sent my friend Paige this email:

Subject
Children's Museum

Message
Weren't we supposed to go? Did I not show up? IF you went and I didn't show up I AM SO SORRY! I was driving around cleaning tonight and it just sort of hit me.

I mean really... "Did I not show up?". Yes, I am actually wondering if we went and I forgot that we went. Yes, I am also wondering if you went and I didn't show up and you were too nice to call me out. That's what this shout out is for. Those of you who have had to work around my inability to check my own google calendar frequently enough to avoid these situations. 

...my mom for switching hotels for the wedding this weekend because I forgot about the wedding this weekend and told her not that long ago that Lila and I were going to go. She switched hotels so that I wouldn't have to sleep on a roll away twin bed with Lila. See what I mean???

...the people who send me a picture every week without fail. You are taking this challenge to heart and I just love it.

...your patience and anticipation of the next Isn't She Lovely feature. My goal is to do two a month until I become quicker at completing them. So far I'm behind on my goal. But, there are many amazing things coming. So thank you for your patience. 

...lastly, my Seth. I know you work so hard all year. But, this time of year I know you need to hear thank you more often than I could possibly say it. You are a rockstar. 

Happy hump day!

A Day

When the really bad days hit you like a swift kick to the yoga pants you've worn for days, every person has a laundry list of things they do to either survive the day or chase it out the door. Thanks to a little blog called Awesomely Awake and the little project there that I joined called The Abundant Mama Project, I have tried really hard to settle in at the end of the day and assess the situation. I haven't been as on top of being a part of the project recently as I would like, but the message of trying to acknowledge your own abundant life sticks with me daily. Sometimes things get so hairy that it can be good comic relief to really hash it out. Sometimes you just eat a lot of chocolate and go on your merry way into the next new day. Today I choose to do both. This is not a woe is me post. Do not feel sorry for me. Many mothers all over the planet gripped the chair and held their breath over far harder things today. It's just a bad day. Honestly, if my bad day can you make you feel better about your next bad day my job is done. 

Sleep has been a sneaky bastard for me of late. Spring has sprung which means my life as a pretend single mom is in full effect. I would seriously rather stay up all night long and not get a single minute of sleep than wake up every thirty minutes to an hour like I did last night. Not to mention I am 99% sure there will be no mother of the year awards coming my way anytime soon. Anyway, here's the rundown. The good, the bad, and the grateful...in no particular order.

Lila

THE BAD

I convinced myself yesterday that she had a bladder infection based on the fact that she went to the potty eighty six times but only peed eight of those times. That and she spent the whole day telling me her back hurt. I say my back hurts constantly. Because she has a flair for the dramatic, I thought she was either trying to be like me or she was mocking me. I learned at around 4 am that neither were the case. This is when I put her in the bed with us and she mumbled something about the poop being stuck. But, in the haze of interrupted, terrible sleep it slipped my mind until later in the morning when she began pacing the entire house screaming with random, unsuccessful jaunts to the toilet. Good job mommy. Instead of asking enough questions to get the right answer I made an assumption that led to world war three in her tiny little belly. The panic in her face coupled with Evie's need to practically be under her every time she ran to the bathroom really made for a rough morning.  

THE GOOD

Neighbor friend Sonja saved the day. Seth had already left to go out of town when the full blown hysterics happened. When I mentioned to Lila we needed to get in the car to go get medicine I'm pretty sure she wanted to slap the bejesus out of me. One call to Sonja and she brings an arsenal of pineapples, pears, plums, prune juice, a laxative, and a suppository. Thirty minutes later (I'll spare you the gory details) Lila is free and clear and fiercely sure she hates prune juice. 

THE GRATEFUL

I have a child who has spent 99.9% of her four years on this Earth in perfect health. Thank you sweet baby Jesus that her biggest health concerns thus far have been a few stitches to the forehead, pollen, and getting really backed up before her mother realized it. We are so very lucky.

Lunch

THE BAD

There are these shelves in my kitchen in an area that I don't walk around in much. Every once in a while I walk over there to look for a passy sweep up and smack my head on a shelf. This happened and I may or may not have let out a gigantic bad word...in front of Evie. Major lack of sleep plus a head injury leads to bad words and migraines in my world.

THE GOOD

While I may not be mommy of the year today, I was most certainly mommy on the spot. I started saying, "DUCK! Evie I saw a duck! Did you see it?". And then I started quacking and before I knew it she forgot about the passy (and hopefully that word that rhymes with duck) and was doubled over laughing. You do what you have to do.

THE GRATEFUL

No migraine!!!

After Nap Adventure

THE BAD

Dekalb county BLOWS. No really. Worst. county. ever. We are on this support Tucker (the "town" we live in) kick because of a whole bunch of political goings on that are just too tedious to mention here. So, I liked the Tucker Farmer's Market and the Tucker Patch on Facebook. Both mentioned today that there was an Earth Day event at Tucker Rec from three to five. I got the girls all excited to go and was pretty pumped myself. We show up and after many dirty looks and three attempts at finding it (the place is tiny mind you) it became clear that no such thing was happening. So irritating, but so typical. 

THE GOOD

I have a two and a four year old (almost). The minute I said there was no Earth Day event but there was a playground all was well with the world. 

THE GRATEFUL

My kids live in a neighborhood where amazing, safe events like this happen all the time...they are just run by the neighborhood and not the county when they actually happen. 

Dinner

THE BAD

1) We order meals from A Dinner A'fare. I have mentioned this before. It makes my life SO much easier. Except for when it doesn't. Sometimes there will be a meal that is so spicy Evie will spit it across the table if I haven't tasted it first and had a chance to stop her from eating it. This happened right as I finally sat down to eat.

2) I made sweet potato fries as the side for the girls knowing they might not eat much of the entree. This is something I do every night with some sort of side because it can be so hard to get Lila to eat. Seth apparently broiled something this weekend and I didn't realize it. My whole house now smells like burnt sweet potatoes. 

3) Because of numbers one and two, my children have no dinner and I have just sat down to eat mine. 

4) Lila spills her water on my dinner before I have even touched it and Evie is practically licking the water off the table because her mouth is on fire and I CAN'T FIND A SIPPY CUP! I promise you that one day I will find the black hole that eats toy parts, sippy cups, pacifiers, and socks. I know it's in Evie's room somewhere. I just can't seem to find the magic button.

THE GOOD

I was able to overcome the mommy guilt and just give them strawberries, a slice of bread, and half a yogurt for dinner. Ironically, they have never been so happy about a dinner in their entire lives. You know, once Evie regained sensation in her mouth and Lila changed her wet clothes.

THE GRATEFUL

When the food isn't suitable or gets burned I have a back up. I have a back up for my back up. My children are never truly hungry. Watch A Place at the Table if you can. It's very eye opening. Every meal I make, or pretend to make thanks to the luxury of A Dinner A'fare, I think about how I have never experienced hunger and what a blessing that is. 

So, at the end of this mess of a day both girls went to sleep without a peep. I made myself that lovely little single serving of a brownie pictured above and plopped down to share my day with you. Thanks for stopping by. 

PS - The photo op challenge will continue weekly until no one sends me a picture. That or it will just be filled with pictures of me!

Photo Op Challenge Take 2

I cannot express enough how enjoyable this is to see all of these lovely faces in my inbox. Keep up the good work! See if you can find me...where's Waldo style. Also, I have to note that the last one cracks me up. It's clear that one of her older lovely daughters got a hold of her phone. Have a great weekend!

Oh Evie

Evie doesn't say much in a crowd. She doesn't say much around people she doesn't see every day. Really, she doesn't say much around people she does see every day that aren't in our family. I'm pretty sure people are beginning to think I made up the fact that she has mad conversation skills. It doesn't matter though. I appreciate her choice to keep her high level of chatting ability to herself. 

However, there are times where we are in a situation where she says something and the other people around us sort of give me a funny look. It comes across in a way that makes me think they didn't know she could talk. 

For instance, this morning at her swim lesson things got all out of order. It's a long story, but when this happens at these lessons it's an adjustment for everyone. Evie already had her swim diaper on when the order got switched, but we were good with it. That is until she peed all over me. The woman sitting next to me whom I've never met said reassuring things like, "I hate it when that happens!". Evie walked, legs spread, to the bathroom where she did her usual sit on the potty but don't pee in it. I knew she wasn't done, but we went about our business of getting the lesson done anyway.

Evie has been very vocal with us about these lessons. She is the first one to pump herself up. She gets a little nervous right before getting in the pool, but then she's good to go. Sometimes at random points in the day I will hear her mumble, "I a good swimmer" which is usually followed by "I a big girl". I am very appreciative of her confidence level with this because these lessons are hard for me at times. 

Anyway, it eventually becomes our turn and Evie is grumbling about the pee pee on her swim diaper (cloth ones, not disposable). She gets in the pool, does the lesson like a CHAMP, and then Ms. Gena (whom she calls JANA) lifts her up onto her towels to rest. Evie's not a rester. She never has been. She's too interested in the other kid's lessons to just lay on a towel and give herself a minute. So, she promptly stands up and starts changing. These lessons are held in an indoor pool located in a hotel near Perimeter mall. At any given time there could be two to four families on deck. Evie turns to the pool and the rest of the deck and yells, "I PEE IN THAT SWIM" with a massive smile on her face. In case you aren't sure, for some reason swim = pool. 

So now they know she can talk. Of course, I would have preferred her usual singing of the ABC's or her dissertation on taking care of a baby doll. But, as they say, beggers can't be choosers. 

Holla Hump Day

This week's shout outs go to...

...my yard sale crew. Those who plan to sell with me and those who gave me a bunch of stuff to sell (my mom and Seth's mom).  The sale is this Saturday and I think Lila may have a career as a salesperson. She is super pumped. I'm thinking of making lemonade and cookies and having her sell those. But, that means I would have to be even more on top of things than I am already trying to be! If you show up and see lemonade and cookies pat me on the back, would ya?

...this guy named Ryan. He's an old friend and now more of a Facebook friend, but he posted that Dove video that I then posted here. I have serious love for men who not only post things like that, but quite obviously try very hard to lift up the women in their lives. Bravo to you sir.

...my babysitter, Aubrey. If she ever decides to move we are screwed. It's not like we go out all the time either. Seth goes out of town for work, I find out the day before, I call Aubrey so I can go do my super glamorous second job, and she shows up! It sounds so mundane, but it really is magical for me.

...Paige for inviting us to the zoo last week! It was spring break for my girls and the three of us needed to get out of the house. Lila has been dealing with some nasty allergies. So, we didn't go out much the whole week because of the pollen take over of the state of Georgia. But, we went to the zoo mid week because I knew there had to be a break in playing hide and seek. Seriously, we were simply out of places to hide.

...Kim who is often my on call pharmacist. Lila spent the better part of Friday night coughing like crazy. Of course, mother of the year over here didn't take her to the doctor during the week. I don't really want to medicate her yet for allergies. But, when my home remedy for coughing didn't work right away I began to regret that decision. I called Kim about an inhaler we had for Evie at one point and she talked me through it. Turns out, the home remedy did work. I was just too impatient. In my defense, so was she. She woke up and emphatically told me she had the flu. Then she told me the cough was making her so mad and being mad and coughing were both making her not go to sleep. Then she started crying. Then she passed out and never coughed again the rest of the night. Add "attempting to be the doctor" to the list of motherly duties I should probably leave to the professionals.

Happy middle of the week! If you are up for it, send me your pictures for Friday. Find someone who's lovely and snap a quick buddy selfie. Or, if you have kids make them take your picture. Those are the best.

THIS

Very emotional this week. This totally made me crybaby cry. 

This is part of what I'm screaming here at Isn't She Lovely. Please God, give me the ability to show my daughters how to see the drawing others would create as their own. 

Know how beautiful you are. I can't wait to show you the amazing beautiful pictures I have been getting.  I'm so proud.

Look for the helpers

I'm sure you've seen the Mr. Rogers quote on FB. Just in case you haven't I'm sharing it with you. It's brilliant really.

Everyone needs a posse of helpers in the big and small tragedies. When I read that line I cried one of those big, ugly, hard cries. Visions of strangers and friends running to help mixed with fierce love for the helpers in my own life made me feel heartbreak and hope all at once.

And now I feel like shouting "look for the helpers" at my kids for the rest of their lives. If they are ever bullied...if they ever feel completely alone...when they witness the horrors of hate and fear brought on by lost souls...I could go on and on. In world and personal tragedy there's really no other option.

Lots of praying and tears tonight for the scared and injured...and for the families who go to bed with that immeasurable loss.

Kairos

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly despairing, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."

- Agatha Christie, An Autobiography

Sadly, Evie is all a blur in the above picture. She's a wiggler though. It's tough to get a solid shot. 

I naively told myself that when I started fresh with this blog the grief talk would have to subside. I convinced myself it was getting toxic. Then I read that Agatha Christie quote in Real Simple this month and changed my mind. After all, it's silly to attempt to put such limitations on something as ginormous and constantly changing as grief. 

But, I will keep it short (ish) this time.

The beginning of grief is the fastest, most gut wrenching roller coaster ride you could possibly imagine.

The middle of grief is a black hole where you start at the top of the roller coaster hill and plummet.

The latter half of grief, and hopefully the longest lasting, is the small beginner's coaster you rode for the first time when you were five. It seems so ominous and terrifying until you realize that, for the most part, it is manageable. 

Of course, every person's beginning, middle, and end are different. Not to mention, you could get to the kiddie ride for a while only to start over on the Ninja (HATE that one at Six Flags). 

Currently, as I'm sure is evident, I am on the kiddie ride. The intensity of the feelings are clear as day, but the life altering portion is now missing. Life is as normal as I can make it when there's a hole in it. 

Today, I read the book Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant to Lila. It is a must read. Honestly, I would suggest it even if you aren't dealing with a death. It's beautiful and simple and lovely. Lila couldn't get enough of it. We read it five times I think. 

After we decided to stop reading it we just sat and chatted. This was the first time I felt like I was saying the right things. I wasn't fumbling over the words or trying to catch my breath. We were giggling about Otis and Poppy chasing each other in Heaven. She learned about guardian angels. All was right with the world even though my gut still often feels "racked with sorrow". I currently know more than I ever have that "just to be alive is a grand thing". 

Happy Monday.

Photo Op Challenge

HEY!

First, thanks so much. Really. It can be tough sometimes to take credit for your own awesomeness and photograph yourself. Much love.

Take a look at these lovely people being all proud of themselves. I just love it. Keep scrolling for an addition to the challenge for next week!

SO, if you haven't joined in feel free to send me a picture whenever you want. The next set will be posted a week from today! For future pictures I challenge those who have and haven't submitted pictures to take a new one. Make it something that becomes a consistent part of your week. That's been a personal goal for me in the past few weeks and it's been so much fun. Plus, like I said, my girls think it's comical to have "picture time" with mommy. 

In addition to consistently being in your own pictures, I challenge you to snap a photo with someone you believe is lovely. I'm thinking along the lines of the third picture above. For instance, I spend a lot of time with the other stay at home moms on my street. We randomly take pictures of the kids, but never of each other or any of the moms together. I'm picturing me, a neighbor mom, and mayhem in the background if you need a visual. I also go to a monthly girls potluck dinner. We've been doing this for so long, but we never take pictures. Why is it that we photograph the crap out of our kids but not our best friends? At first it may seem a little vain. But it shouldn't. We have cameras at our fingertips these days. Take advantage! Hug a friend and take a picture. Sneak up on lovely friends at a girls night and take a picture (and then get permission from them to send it to me!). Photo bomb. Be present and document it! Ok, jumping off the soap box now. 

Happy picture taking!

It's only fair

This is what it looks like when I tell her she can't have any more bunnies (the organic version of goldfish...which is kind of a joke, but whatever).

I buy the individual sized bags of bunnies at Costco. It's one of the rare snack type items I keep in our house for three reasons:

1) I will eat every processed snack item before anyone else can, and I do not need to eat like that that is unfair to them.
2) I would prefer my kids eat other things. Organic or not. I have too many conspiracy theories cooked up in my overactive brain about the FDA.
3) It's like technology. If you give them the Ipad/Iphone/Iwhatever for longer than the perfect window of time, they become lunatics. Same goes for bunnies. See above.

Anyway, after taking this picture I immediately remembered this little gem of an article and dug it up.
In doing so I found this blog post I did about Lila (imitation is the sincerest form of flattery right?)

So, it's only fair that Evie gets one too. We must document these things. Here goes!

1. MOMMY! Who cares if it's 5 am? I AM UP. COME GET ME NOW.
2. No really, you better hurry before I start yelling for Lila.
3. That's right...SSSSSHHHHHH....IS THIS QUIET ENOUGH???
4. Milk. I need milk. No not that cup. I want the Dora cup.
5. Did you not hear me? THE DORA CUP.
6. I feel like I'm screaming but no one hears me.
7. Oh I am screaming! Wow, that's fun.
8. YAY LILA IS UP AND MY WORLD IS COMPLETE!
9. If you give Lila the Dora cup I will go crazy, bunny rejection style.
10. No I do not want any of this food. Let's play!
11. I am STARVING.
12. No. None of that food sounds good.
13. Must find Lila's Lucy doll while she eats and hide her.
14. Running...running away before she really wakes up completely and wants Lucy.
15. Lila is the best thing that ever happened to me.
16. Yes Lila. I will do anything you say.
17. No you can't have Lucy. She's mine.
18. Why do I have a diaper on?
19. I hate clothes.
20. AH that's better. "Mommy! I peeeeeing!!!"
21. I NEED BUNNIES AND MY PASSY NOW!!!
22. Oh yes! Let me wash my hands.
23. Wait, where's Lucy?
24. I need to hit Lila. She took Lucy.
25. I need to bite Lila.
26. I need to pull Lila's hair.
27. I love to hug Lila. She is the best thing ever.
28. I need to push Lila.
29. Why is Lila crying?
30. Lucy! Passy! Bunnies?
31. I'm exhausted.
32. Nope. No nap for me!
33. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is my jam.
34. Molly is hungry.
35. Molly is very hungry.
36. WHY CAN'T I FEED MOLLY AGAIN!?!?
37. OK. I will go to sleep but don't count on it being a long one.
38. Where is Lila?
39. No really. Where is Lila??????
40. Mommy is so funny.
41. Mommy thinks she's so funny.
42. Outside now!
43. No we do not need to wear clothes outside.
44. No I do not need a diaper!
45. I want to wear panties.
46. NO DIAPER. NO PULL UP. ONLY PANTIES.
47. Something is not working in my panties.
48. Maybe if I walk slowly she won't notice.
49. Ugh. I poop. "Mommy I pooooop!"
50. I can put the diaper on myself.
51. Yes Lila. I will do anything you say.
52. Hide and seek IS MY JAM!
53. HERE I AM! I'M IN HEEEEEERRRREEEE!
54. Yes Lila. I will do anything you say.
55. No, I will not hide there.
56. Yes, I will hide with you.
57. Is mommy coming yet???? I need to tell her where I am!
58. DADDY IS HERE! Wow I love daddy.
59. I have so much to say to him. I just can't stop talking.
60. I really hope we are having bunnies for dinner.


SIDE NOTE - Don't forget to send me your "Aren't You Lovely" pictures if you haven't already!

Holla Hump Day

This week's shout outs go to...

...all of you lovely people who have emailed me pictures for this Friday's "Aren't You Lovely". It makes my day every single day! I can't wait for you guys to see them. Please keep them coming this week and for weeks to come.

...Lila because of this conversation on the way to the dentist today:

L - Mom, there are lots of pictures of me as a baby right?
Me - Yes.
L - And, lots of pictures of me as a baby in your tummy right?
Me - Yep!
L - And pictures of Evie in your tummy too right?
Me - That's right.
L - And pictures of you in Daddy's tummy right?
Me - Ummmmm, NO. I was in Vivi's tummy because Vivi is my mommy. People are always in their mommy's tummy. Grammy is Daddy's mommy so he was in Grammy's tummy. Does that make sense?
L - Yes! So, where is Grammy's mommy?
Me - She is in Heaven with Poppy.
L - Oh, and she was in Poppy's tummy right?
Me - Uhhhhhh....let's start over shall we?

Totally made me laugh out loud!

...Evie for these pictures texted to me last night by Seth...because I needed that sneaky little face hiding in the laundry hamper to be stuck in my brain while I did my glamorous second job. I told you hide and seek is the best part of the day!

...my friend Katie for dropping off a book that I can read to the girls that helps with explaining death. For some things I am so on top of it when it comes to books. Things like holidays and going to the dentist come to mind. But, I didn't really do any digging when it came to books that may help with such a sensitive and hard topic. If anyone has any other recommendations besides Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant I would love to hear about them.

Happy hump day!

Phoning it in

Something in me has changed in one short year. Something big and glorious and breathtaking. Breathtaking because I feel the biggest sigh of relief at my own permission to be less ambitious about something. Now I sit and wonder what I was waiting for. 

For Lila's first birthday I wanted it to be perfect. I needed it to be perfect. I made the big cupcake cake, paid quite a lot for invitations, made a ton of food, and I couldn't tell you much else about it. That's because I was so paranoid and trying to be so mommy on the spot that it became a blur. 

Lila's second birthday was not this way. This is the only one so far that I phoned in even a little. We had the party a month after her birthday because I had just given birth to Evie. But, it was a massive pool party with lots of food made by me. Seth spent the entire time at the grill, and I felt like I spent the entire time in a bedroom nursing Evie. BUT, there was this amazing cake made by Seth's aunt and this two year old face next to it. My heart breaks just looking at that face and wondering where the time went. 

Almost a year ago for their third and first birthdays it seems I was living in overdrive mode. There are many reasons I felt the need to have two overdone parties:

1) I/We survived Evie's first year of life. It was time to ce * le * brate!

2) Lila's third year of life seemed like a blur, and I felt all sorts of guilt for that.

3) Pinterest.

4) Pinterest.

5) STUPID PINTEREST.

So, off I went on a Pinterest binge which resulted in two really cute, overly expensive, exhausting parties. Evie's was all things Cinco de Mayo and Lila had the best art party I could possibly come up with. The interesting thing is, I remember every last detail of both parties. They were so much fun in so many ways. Even while feeling like my head was spinning I soaked it all up. 

But, in spite of all that fun and cuteness I am over it. Birthday parties like that are too much work. In the coming years I will have the task of deciding if we should have one party or two because their birthdays are a week apart. Really though, in my head there is no question there should only be one. I guess that will be the case until they start to question it! 

Anyway, this year I sent an Evite. This was partly because I didn't want to spend the money on the fancy invites, and partly because I just did it yesterday. No time left for the real deal. 

This year we are going to a free playground where there will probably be a million other people there. 

This year we are ordering pizza and bringing juice boxes. That's what kids want anyway.

I may splurge on some awesome favors. OR, I may get them matching playground T-shirts being that I won't be able to do that for forever. Regardless, this year I will play, play, play with my girls as they celebrate turning four and two. I won't care if my house is clean, if the food is ready, or if there are eighteen Pinterest projects completed. THANK GOD. I must be less ambitious more often. It's incredibly liberating. 

On death and Jesus

This past Friday night the girls and I spent the night at Vivi's house. I had been telling Vivi (my mom) for quite a while that I would come get some of my crap out of her house. Seriously, I'm 33. Does your mom still have some of your crap stashed in her home? This isn't just me right? Anyway, Vivi is trying to renovate. I am trying to have a yard sale. It was time. We plan this little sleepover of sorts and head on over.

Let's back up a little. When my dad died suddenly this past August it was a very horrific time for me as many who have read this blog for a while know. Lila was just barely three and I was at a complete loss for how to explain things to her. Poppy wasn't around a lot, but when he was he made an impression. Lila's favorite doll, an American Girl Bitty Baby she named Lucy, came from Poppy. That and going to Disney World last January are really the only concrete things she associated with him. I'm pretty sure I did a terrible job of helping her to understand. It's a hard thing to navigate when she didn't see him all that often to begin with. Probably to her it seems like it's just going to be a while before she sees him again...not forever. So we would discuss Poppy being with Jesus, she would say something like "Poppy gave me Lucy!", I would cry, and that would be the end of it. I just couldn't get it right.

Fast forward to this past Friday. We are halfway to Vivi's and Evie is so confused. We had to go to Grammy's (Seth's mom) to feed her dogs before going to Vivi's. So Evie is sure we are going to see Grammy. Then the lightbulb goes off when she yells, "we are going to see Vivi and Otis!". Here we are in rush hour traffic and it dawns on me, thanks to Evie, that I have not explained to them that Otis is also no longer with us. Otis was my mom's dog and the dog Sara and I grew up with. My mom told me when we planned this sleepover that I needed to make sure I explained Otis passing away to them. Guess who forgot to do that?

These days if I try to have any sort of full on conversation about something with the girls Evie just starts talking. She talks while you talk. She talks louder than you. She gets this look on her face like she is an adult and the conversation is so very important. It's insanely adorable...except when you really actually need to talk about something. This was the case as I fumbled over explaining again about Poppy. It had been months since I brought it up with Lila. I brought up Heaven this time because I was hoping she could sort of grasp that in some pretty place in the sky sort of way. She kept asking why we wouldn't see him again and how he went to Heaven. I struggled there too. I told her his heart wasn't working right and he was sick. But then I didn't want her to think every time you get sick you could die. It's all so unbelievably confusing. I decided to move on to the topic of Otis. I told them (her) that he was with Poppy in Heaven and they were taking care of each other. She panicked and asked who was going to take care of Vivi if Otis wasn't there! This then led to talking about how some people don't even have dogs/pets and Vivi would be fine. This parenting thing is SO VERY HARD. 

Meanwhile, I am trying to talk loud enough for Lila to hear me but not so loud as to overshadow Evie's intense need to be heard. Most of what Evie is saying makes no sense at this point. That is until she says rather loudly, "Jesus is at home tomorrow and he loves me tomorrow!". Lila quickly responds with, "No Evie. Jesus is in Heaven".

I busted out laughing. Then started crying. Then started laughing again. 

We got to Vivi's and no one even mentioned Otis. And I was exhausted.

I know this isn't the last death/heaven/Jesus talk by a long stretch. I have always struggled with the topic of faith with Lila because I know how confusing and abstract it is at such a young age. Throw in death and my head is SPINNING. But, I also feel like it doesn't really matter. Faith isn't about getting the names and places right. For her it's not even about believing in something. It's completely about following our example and feeling our love. 

Maybe by the time she can comprehend more of it I will have the explanation sorted out. Until then we will just go with Evie's sentiment and be on our way.

This just in...

...from our officially unofficial music correspondent Sara (because, if I'm being honest, 75% of the music I "find" comes from her anyway!). She actually sent me Lake Street Dive's cover of "I Want You Back" which is amazing as well. But, this one I LOVE.  I just bought two of their albums on iTunes. They are the real deal people.

ALSO this...

...THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME PICTURES. There's still almost a whole week to send one. I simply cannot wait until Friday to post them. I am so proud of you people who are stepping in front of the camera. Well done!!!

Challenge! Aren't you lovely?

I have a thing for taking pictures of my family members sleeping. There's something so sweet and perfect about it. What's better though is that she will see this picture someday and see my face beaming while she sleeps. She will feel that love so strongly from one picture. 

Are you addicted to The Huffington Post like I am? Specifically, Huff Post Parents? It's amazing. You're missing out if not. If you are, chances are good you've read the article called "The Mom Stays in the Picture". As I've mentioned, I have lots of ideas for this blog. That article brought about my latest idea and challenge for you!

I read the article and found myself becoming really aware of how often I was not in photographs with my children or at events. I started making an effort to take pictures and be in them at the same time. Being that I usually do this at home during the day they aren't always the best quality. But, I'm there. Lila gets a huge kick out of it these days. I plan to get her a camera (suggestions welcome) for her birthday so that she can take them more often too. Long story short, I started to realize how lovely it can be to feel so present even on the most mundane of days. Being a SAHM can sort of make you feel washed up and lost in the shuffle. Then I scroll through my pictures and there I am. I may look really put together or like I need an extreme makeover mommy edition. Surprisingly, it doesn't really matter to me. I remember the exact moment I took that black and white picture (to the right) with Lila. It was such a perfect moment and ended up being such a perfect picture. Why wouldn't I want to do that as much as possible? We photograph our children (or pets or homes or whatever your thing of the moment is) at an astounding rate. It's silly to leave ourselves out.

Now, some of you have totally mastered the selfie picture. I've seen you rocking the solo pic all over FB, and I applaud you. At first it was odd to me, but now I see things differently. We should all be seeing things differently. Praise thy neighbor. That's what we're doing here. BUT, I am suggesting you see the lovely in you too as much as possible. It's the same as saying you can't love others if you don't love yourself. You can't praise everyone else and not throw yourself a bone once in a while. Other people reading this may think that taking pictures of yourself is absurd. I've been you. I understand. I haven't actually done a great solo picture yet. I have one of me drinking coffee in NYC that my sister took and an older one of me picking my nose at a wedding. It was a joke. Don't judge. However, I now have quite a few pictures of just day to day life with my girls and I am in them. My goal is to work harder on taking more pictures of just Seth and I too.

SO, I challenge you to take pictures and BE IN THEM. And then send them to me to be posted here!!! Every Friday, assuming people step up and do this, I will post the pictures I have received from that week. There may not be many at first, but I don't care. I want you to acknowledge how awesome you are by taking a picture of yourself so that we can then say, "Isn't she lovely!". Mind you, I don't care if you are dressed for a date with your man/woman or washing the dog. To me, some of the best pictures are the ones where the person is just living their life. I know I will say you look amazing if it's the date picture and you are so on top of your life if you have time to wash the dog. Either way, you will get props from me.

Email me your pictures and look for yourself next Friday or any Friday after that depending on how this goes. In fact, I have a gift for the first person to send me a picture!

Feel free to add a comment or not. It doesn't matter.

Disclaimer - Do not send me a picture if you have an issue with your kids/dogs/husband/friends etc. being on the internet. Your email to me is permission for me to post it on this blog. K thanks!

Better late?

In my life before husband and kids I was so much more on top of things. Everything was consistently in order. I did things like go to the dentist every six months, give blood on the regular, and balance my checkbook. Now, I feel reeeeaaaalllyyy good about myself if I get the kids to school on time with all of their clothes on and their lunch is actually inside their backpack. We are talking about preschool here people. It's not that hard.

One thing I still aim for is punctuality. I hate to be late. HATE TO BE LATE.

One would wonder how Seth and I work. Seth is the opposite of on time. Since marrying me he has stepped up his game in this department. But, he is still usually late to some degree.

One thing I know about marriage is that I know who I married. Nowhere in my brain did a little voice tell me that if I married him he would suddenly be on time. As I've said before, that kind of expectation benefits no one. I spent a great deal of our dating years waiting for him to get to my house and pick me up. Therefore, it's been no surprise that I still wait and look out the window and grumble a little. It doesn't matter though. I would wait for him forever.

For the record, he puts up with me in the morning. Pretty sure we are even.

Anyway, I am explaining all of this to now discuss Lila's ballet recital.

Usually I get over it if we are late. I get irritated and distressed, but I come around. The afternoon of Lila's ballet recital went from grumbly, to super angry, to kind of funny. Kind of.

The babysitter for Evie gets here at five. I texted Seth at a quarter past four and said, "you are going to be here AT FIVE right?". Of course he says yes. Five fifteen rolls around and we frantically get in the car leaving the tutu, tap shoes, and ballet shoes on the counter. Therefore, it's pushing five thirty when we get onto the highway with everything we need and Lila is supposed to be there in ten minutes.  The recital was scheduled to start at six. It was rush hour and we had to get to the depths of Buckhead. Pretty sure I texted everyone that was going and said we weren't going to make it only to realize they were already there.

Mind you, there was a strong possibility that Lila wasn't even going to participate. She hadn't been an active part of the class for a month yet insisted on doing the recital. While sitting in traffic I told myself it didn't matter if we didn't make it. Except that my beautiful ballerina was sitting all done up in her carseat grinning from ear to ear.

As it turns out, we got there after six. But it didn't matter. She was in the fifth group to perform and it suddenly felt like we hadn't missed a beat. In the panic to park in the most over used elementary school in Atlanta, we left the big camera in the car. Hence, the picture at the top of the post. That's truly the only decent phone picture I have. That is her plie plus a really silly face! It's a good thing there will be other occasions to get good pictures at events like this. At any rate, that little blondie bun on her head and the look of pride that she danced on the stage are forever etched in my brain.

Holla Hump Day

This week's shout outs go to...

...JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. That's right people. Sometimes you just need a little mainstream pop music to soothe your soul. I try really hard to find quality music. It's really nice when quality music is all over everything and not so freaking hard to find. You better believe I was belting this one out while spending three hours doing my super glamorous second job tonight. Lame lyrics only video though!

...Glennon Doyle Melton. I got your book baby today. In my heart I know you will one day read my blog (and maybe my book baby). Therefore, I figured I should thank you now before I even read it. Truthfully, I think I already know a lot of what it says yet I can't wait to read it cover to cover. That's what is known as good writing. When your reader knows a great deal about your story and wants to read every last word of it anyway. BTW, I totally stole the picture idea from my friend Sonja.

...Christine. She's an old friend and one of the best. I am sending her a shout out for teaching Lila how to play hide and seek. It happened by chance at a girls dinner I think. At the time I remember thinking I couldn't believe I hadn't taught it to her myself! Well, now we play many times a day. There is something so out of this world adorable about seeing your two little chickies huddled together under the blankets on your bed attempting to hide. Evie's rear end is up in the air not hidden from plain view at all. Lila covers her eyes and face thinking that then you simply can't see her. They giggle and whisper very quietly while Molly and I pretend to look for them. This game is the best part of every day for me right now. 

...our ISR instructor Gina. Infant Swimming Resource (survival swimming lessons) round two started yesterday. Evie is still not aware that this is going to be going on for a while. Gina's job stresses me out. I feel certain I could do most any job I put my mind to. Not this one. I mean, she's teaching kids how to save themselves from drowning for goodness sake. Bravo Gina. Bravo.

Happy hump day friends. And, if you know the giveaway winner tell them to email me please!

Winner!

The person who commented under the name jcaicedo is the winner of the Lilywrap giveaway! Please email me with your contact information so that we can ship you the Classic Silver wrap as soon as possible.

Thanks so much for reading about Ashley and leaving such lovely comments. Stay tuned for more to come.

And, thank you to those who shared, pinned, and talked about the post. I so appreciate the support and I hope we can continue to lift up others together.